I've been in a gay relationship with my boyfriend for about 12 year so now. About a year ago we had a small fight about the fact that I am not talking to him anymore. At first I didn't even notice that it was bothering him, he made comments about it but I just thought he was teasing me. One day I caught him in the garden mumbling to himself about it when he thought I was inside. I got very upset because he was implying I kept secrets from him and didn't love him anymore. At that time I told him that this is not remotely the case and that I simply have basically nothing that I could possibly talk with him about, except from the usual small talk.
I told him that I:
- have no friends other than him that I could talk about
- never go out without him, so everything I do he already knows about because he is with me
- contrary to his belief, have no online friends I constantly talk with and could tell something about
- have not much to tell about work because we work in the same company and sit basically next to each other. So again, everything that happens to me, he already knows about because he is with me, at the latest when there is the coffee break.
- have no hobbies other than painting which is also nothing we really can talk about.
- do nothing except waking up, work, eat, go to bed early, repeat (So I'm the most boring person you could ever imagine)
He seemed to understand and it got better. I tried to talk more to him about the few things that happen in my life although he already knows because we are always together, except when he goes out with his friends and I stay at home. Of course we also talk about politics or news but I always felt that's not what he wants, instead he wants to hear about my (boring and uneventful) personal life.
Unfortunately the problem came back a while ago and he started to make passive aggressive comments about the fact that I do not talk to him anymore. Reminding him of what I once told him doesn't seem to have any effect. I want to make it clear that my feelings are still the same and I'm only talking to him so little because I have nothing that I could talk about.
I have the feeling that it is hard for him to understand me because he has plenty of friends and acquaintance with whom he chats constantly and stories to tell, whereas I have like 3 contacts in my contact list I chat with once or twice a year and no friends or family I have any contact with. I even gave him access to my devices that he could see for him self that I don't talk to others all the time but not to him (something he often implies), but he refused.