I'm an introvert and sometimes when people are having conversations I usually tend to not engage. However, currently , I wanted to change my behavior, to be more social and engaging. And not to be silent all the time when in a conversation.

But it has been quite difficult for me to join in a conversation. Few months ago, I was with a group of my friends in a restaurant, some I have known since high school some I have seen a few times.

While we were waiting for our food , my close friend started a conversation with the friend of his. I was sitting next to them, and listening on the conversation. They were discussing the ongoing trade negotiations with US and China , I tried to join in the conversation.

But wouldn't the US gain more by doing XYZ...

They both looked at me for a moment, and continued on the conversation like I haven't said anything.

I am not sure if its because of they didn't expect me to speak as I am an introvert, or If I am just being rude. I really want to be more engaged in social situations but I often get ignored.

Would there be any good guidelines on joining a conversation?


1 Answer 1


First things first: you are definitly not rude in trying to join a conversation if you are a) with friends and b) sitting on the same table!

However, I know how you feel. This is not a foolproof way of doing it, but it is how I usually go about joining a conversation, with people I don't know that well: I try and listen to the conversation, until one of the two says something that isn't a hundred percent clear and ask that person to further specify, or something that doesn't seem strange if you question it. Normally the person then either gives you a clear response that they don't want you to join the conversation or they explain it to you. (Both has happened to me, but the latter is way more common) I then ask another question on the same topic, if I can, and try to say something related as well. Usually the people start to pick it up, especially if you seem interested in what they are talking about.

I hope this can be of some help. And the best of luck to you in the future.

  • Thanks for the answer, really appreciate your advice on this matter. I have been thinking a lot lately about this. Thanks again :D Commented Aug 12, 2019 at 1:07
  • No problem, I'm glad I was of any help :)
    – violetleaf
    Commented Aug 12, 2019 at 5:45

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