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I will try and keep this succinct as I could type pages upon pages. In short, I underwent a radical change in my life 4 years ago where I had to walk away from almost my total family (all but one sibling). My primary friendship was united with a sibling and at the time of the break I make the (regretable) decision to close that friendship group. I had other friends, but they were few. I started a new job and made some friends there. I'm a person that seems to fall into states of a small close nit circle of friends. Anyways, I sadly become a very toxic person and started to push away (directly and indirectly) my new and existing friends.

I'm now at the point where I've confronted my personal issues and am working on the causes of the toxicity that I had had. But, I essentially have no friends. There are a few people on social media that I make contact with, but there is no one that I actually socialise with in person. If tomorrow I decided to have a party, I literally would have no-one to invite. I just started a new job and I've started to make 'friends' of sorts with a few people, but outside of that the only face to face interaction I have with anyone is with my sibling and her family (I live with them).

I recently turned 35 and to be honest, I have no idea how to now make friends. Where do you go? who do you contact? How does a person make new friends in their mid 30s? Is there 'friends sites' like dating sites?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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  • interpersonal.stackexchange.com/questions/22582/… not completely same(age for one) but broadly related. There might be better questions too if you click on making-friends. Drop by in chat if you want, when you gain sufficient rep. (ping me by @ankiiiiiii)
    – anki
    Aug 25, 2019 at 13:22
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    Hi Peter! The question @ankiiiiiii linked you to was put on hold for being too broad (and is now closed as it was never edited). Our help center page mentions something about 'every answer being equally valid'. This sadly also includes list-type questions, like asking people where they go for X (groceries, friends). It would help a lot if you could edit your question to be less broad, right now, every answer is equally valid.
    – Tinkeringbell ♦
    Aug 25, 2019 at 19:47
  • Also, unless you find the place to go, and can add to your question something about the people you're interacting with, your question may be off-topic here :/ 'Interpersonal' refers to the things that take place between two or more people, and right now there's only you. I'm afraid that finding someone to interact with is outside the scope of being Interpersonal. I'm going to put your question on-hold for now, feel free to edit it to narrow it down to something interpersonal, or ask a new one once you've found a particular person you'd like to create a friendship with.
    – Tinkeringbell ♦
    Aug 25, 2019 at 19:47
  • @Tinkeringbell - It's a shame the site doesn't take into account different time zones. I posted this before bed and didn't check again until I logged in again in the morning. It speaks volumes to the credibility of the moderation process.
    – David
    Aug 26, 2019 at 12:57
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    @Peter Hi Peter. We tend to put questions on hold so that people have all the time they need to edit their question and make it on topic. We do this to avoid it from getting downvotes and being badly received from the community. If it can be edited and put on topic, we then reopen it. The issue in this case is that you're asking how to form new friendships, but advice on where to go or what to say would differ widely depending on the person, which is why questions asking for the best way to do XYZ are off topic on this site.
    – avazula
    Aug 26, 2019 at 14:05

1 Answer 1

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I'm a 37-year-old single male. In my experience, one of the best ways to meet new people and make friends is via hobbies. Find some new things to try that you might enjoy, some examples being:

  • Try out a new sports group like squash, bowling, running, swimming or cycling. A lot of clubs run free trial sessions so you can see if you enjoy the activity and get along with members without it costing you anything.
  • Sign up for a creative class such as cookery, a book club, art or photography. Many of these organise and encourage extra social events.
  • Join a games club, like chess, or a D&D group.

I'm sure there are sites aimed at platonic 'singles', but I think you would have better success with the above as common interests tend to stimulate better social engagements than events specifically engineered to make friends.

I too have a limited circle of friends, but most of them come from my hobbies of swimming, squash and photography.

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  • @Wii Appleby - Thanks for your response. I will certainly have to seek out some local clubs to join. I'm a Maths, Video Game, and Film Nerd so I hope I will be able to find groups with like minded individuals.
    – David
    Aug 25, 2019 at 10:09

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