I left my mother's home to live on my own 8,5 years ago. Since then, no one in my family has visited me once. Some years ago, my mother even dismissed my idea to visit me when I suggested to do so, I guess because she didn't see any reason if I was the one always taking trips to visit her, or to meet her in my grandma's city.
Now things have changed. My grandma died one month ago, and the funeral will happen in October. My mother is coming to the funeral, and after that, she plans to come to my place for the first time.
This is not the only thing that has changed. The last times I visited her, I noticed how she refused to respect my boundaries, even when I explicitly told her to do so. The heaviest example was when last time she would harass me for days because I didn't want to eat meat (I have become a vegetarian, but I respect other people's choices and I leave them alone), until I got really angry. Then she became sexist, pretending I was that angry because I had my period. After that I began to almost not talk to her, and when I explained her why I'm taking this measure, she was dismissive again, telling me I was either wrong or that she was "concerned", and she didn't do anything wrong at all.
I'm afraid that if she comes to my place, she will again pretend my boundaries don't matter, harass me for my choices, even if I respect hers, or criticize me for how my home looks like (messy, I never managed to tidy up properly, plus I tend to forget my stuff everywhere).
I just don't want to have to fight again for my boundaries to be respected, to only be insulted for standing for my rights. Unfortunately, I have no idea how can I best communicate to her that I just don't want her visiting me, at least in my home. How can I best communicate that?