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So we have a groupchat on messenger which includes all family members (20 persons) now 1 girl posted a picture of a magazine in which her picture is.

A lot of aunts said: "wow you look great!" etc. And 1 uncle responded "are you in [Dutch magazine name]? :D"

This was my uncle way of saying in a joking way that she looks awesome. The dutch magazine always has covers of girls, sometimes in swimsuits or dressed a bit seductivaly but NEVER nude or topless.

The girl reacted back "this is very inappropriate, as a young woman I don't want reactions like this. I want that people appreciate me for who I am and not for my looks! If I was a boy I wouldn't receive such reactions."

The thing is in the groupchat we laugh with every family member, fat, old, small, black or white. Its just our family humour.

3 uncles and a nephew left the conversation because they don't want to watch every word they say and think that she overreacted.

How to deal with situations like this?

closed as unclear what you're asking by Ælis, Rainbacon, Johanna, Lux Claridge, Erik Sep 26 at 13:17

Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need. As it's currently written, it’s hard to tell exactly what you're asking. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    Hi Thomas, welcome to IPS. Can you please clarify? What do you want to convey? To who? What's the idea (the person and the IP skill involved) behind this story? As it stands, your text will mostly attract VTC and DV, but if you have a clear idea of what you want to achieve (and make it on-tpic for this stack), then we will certainly be able to help you rephrase (if needed) and answer. Thanks. – OldPadawan Sep 26 at 12:09
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    for example, do you want to persuade your cousin the comment was fine? explain to your uncle why it was not fine? get the people who left the chat to come back? what is your goal? – Kate Gregory Sep 26 at 14:48
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    I didn't really see the actual problem, perhaps she overreacted. The "for who I am" passage is inappropriate to me. People who post pictures always and everywhere nowadays only show their look, how can they expect comments about attitude and personality? Praise for being a good person is not simply achieved by pictures all over. Less than ever if one appears in a magazine. Of course still it is a matter of how a comment is given - we can't evaluate uncle's comment properly. First thing you should do is bring the discussion down to a normal level. – puck Sep 27 at 4:32
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    @Upper_Case - It seems clear to me from the question that there was no actual picture in any magazine, the uncle was only referencing it as an indirect way of saying "you look good enough to be a model" or "...to appear in [the magazine]". – Dave Sherohman Sep 27 at 8:15
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    The first sentence says: "now 1 girl posted a picture of a magazine in which her picture is." That's what I'm asking about. – Upper_Case-Stop Harming Monica Sep 27 at 16:43