I'm asking this in the context of playing the computer game Overwatch and therefore internet-anonymity as one problem has to be kept in mind.
When I started playing the game I got as soon I had some experience a typical command giving a player who just blamed others for not following up commands and strategies when it wasn't running according to (my) plan.
After a bit of self-learning, I learned that it is important to keep everyone's morale up by pointing out what went well and only pointing on mistakes if they happen repeatedly and might be caused by unawareness of the problem.
I learned that it is important to neither have a team of 6 commanders nor have a team of 6 followers. So I learned to try to grab the commander role as I feel most comfortable with it, but if someone else is not willing to follow I follow his commands to prevent splitting a call following the team.
Also, I'm clearly and neutral communicating (and always trying to do it without any judgement) what I see might be a problem. And if I have no idea I ask the others if they have an idea what actually is causing trouble.
If the response is calm and objective, that leads sometimes to great changes mid game twisting it to our advantage.
Sometimes others simply deny communicating what they think is going on. And I think most of them are playing in a competitive manner the game as I do as they1 want to win. So why won't they communicate their observations? Instead of at some point just breaking out in blaming some specific player in a very subjective and most of the time even insulting way.
If I'm able to abstract their worries from such statements I try to argue and/or fix it if I agree with the problem. But in a situation where a player just starts to insult me and subjectively blames me for losing the game I feel like I'm losing control of the situation and since this is a typical fight or flight situation where flight would be penalized by game mechanics, I react to it with an outbreak of counter insulting aggression and totally losing focus of the game. (Which I totally hate, as it will take me up to several hours to calm down again.)
How can I keep control over a before mentioned situation, prevent myself from throwing tantrum and in the ideal case pulling the subjectively motivated offender to mention objectively his point of view instead of figuratively provoking me to flip the gaming table?
1Let's exclude immature players that just play to annoy others or players that don't know better from this assumption