Since I am Japanese, English may be strange. Please ask if you do not understand the meaning.
A while ago (in Japan), I met a very nice woman at a bar, for the first time in my life, I took courage and challenged myself to speak to this woman who turned out to be from the Netherlands.
Cultural background: in Japan, it is common to "confess" after about 3 dates/weeks (if you date once a week). We often meet in the following order. In order to make it easier to understand, it is written very simply:
Become friends → Eat food several times in the shop → Tell them you like → Become a couple → Join hands → Kiss
Cultural differences and questioning:
However, I do not know the general dating etiquette for Dutch people (or any people from overseas). I am confused about how many times does one go on a date before telling Dutch people (or people in the world) that one loves them? Is confessing via "I love you" accepted in Dutch culture? Because of cross-culture differences, I don't want to make mistakes.
What I want to ask everyone is "the processing order until dating with her".
In what order do Dutch people (or people from all over the world) proceed?
How can I convey my feelings to the woman I date without breaking the Dutch etiquette?
Additional notes (2019/10/26)
Thank you, it took a while but I finished reading. I understood your advice as follows:
1. About she and I eating out together
It is common to eat out with friends.
2.Until you tell her that you are romantically interested in her, you are NOT dating (by her standards).
I told her, “I want to talk to you more so let ’s eat out”. So she may not have a romantic interest in me yet.
3.Being a couple implies a steady, long-term and committed type of relationship that doesn't necessarily come with 3 or 4 dates.
Thank you, I didn't know. I think everyone is different, but how long do you get along?
4. "I love you" is strong.
It means that it should be done after more time, becoming a partner and getting along. When I get better, I tell her that I love her.
5. The "confession" as you understand it, is a demonstration of romantic interest in someone, and expression of a wish to move the relationship from friends / acquaintances to romantic.
This is what I mean by "confession". When I want to have a romantic relationship with her, "I love you." Is a mistake, You should say "I like you." (Or a mild word).
②In what order do Dutch people (or people from all over the world) proceed? You taught me two options.
I ’m “Option 2” so I ’m going in the order that I write below.
Go on a date → Join hands → Kiss (or not, depends on you and your girl) → Go on more dates until you decide to move to a formal relationship → Become a couple
③ How can I convey my feelings to the woman I date without breaking the Dutch etiquette?
1. I'm calling "when in Rome, do as the Romans do".
Japan has the same words! So thank you very much.
④Managing expectations: Be aware that if you're just going to the restaurant together it doesn't necessarily imply a date for her.
I understand. When I go to a restaurant because I want to have a romantic relationship with her,I tell her not to “eat out” but “to date”.
⑤Managing expectations: Be aware that we (westerners) are much more comfortable with physical intimacy (holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.) without being in a committed relationship.From our standards, you can even kiss and decide to not go on a second date.
I understand. That's what I wrote below.
Japanese kissed on a date → She has a very romantic interest in me
westerners kissed on date → she went as if greeting