I don't think you ever have enough life experience; for different situations the "enough" could vary wildly. Plus I think you can always learn from every situation you encounter.
I am pointing this out only because you are setting yourself in an antagonistic position to what they are saying. In this case, maybe if you deal with them "enough" times you may learn how to handle them better. Now, enough could be a huge amount of times.
However what bothers me is that:
They also declared, somewhat explicitly, that while they joke at me they do not want to see from my perspective, they only want to see from their perspective. They explicitly told they were thinking my problems solely belong to myself, and they will keep treating me as an annoying element.
That is such an odd thing to say, so I think maybe there was a huge misunderstanding, and they failed to understand you, or you failed to understand them. If everyone understood everything, then they are being kinda mean, and you may never be able to make them understand you, because they don't want to.
Chose your battles. How long are you going to be with these people? If it is a short period of time, just put up with it and don't worry. If it is for a long time, then something needs to be done.
I am not on the spectrum, or at least I have never been diagnosed. But what you describe happens a lot to me. I have a tendency not to get jokes, or take things literally when they are meant figuratively, and so on. So I always have to deal with people teasing me about my cluelessness.
I think it can be endearing to be this clueless, and the good natured people I met in general felt it was cute. It can also be taxing for them sometimes, if you never seem to get what they mean, but if they know you don't do it on purpose they shouldn't take offense.
However, it is true that if you encounter a situation enough times, you may learn to deal with it appropriately. So I always keep in my mind "cases of study". Any time I don't understand a situation, I try to correlate to others and see what I was supposed to do and why. I will explain further below.
First of all, if they don't understand you, it is really their fault, they say you don't have enough life experience, so you don't understand them, well to me it is clear they don't have enough life experience dealing with people different than them, or at least noticing not everyone is the same, because as I said, I am not on the spectrum and this happens to me a lot, and I have seen many people that are not on the spectrum and have the same experience.
Don't feel attacked by what they say, it is their problem, is in their side of the court, they don't know how to deal with anyone that is not just exactly like them. Even if they think they know, thinking you know it is not the same as actually knowing.
So, if you have to deal with this situation because you are going to be with them for an extended period of time, you need a multi-step not completely direct approach.
First, I assume you already told them in a very clear way you have ASD. If you haven't, do it. Tell them, guys I think with all these situations when I didn't understand things and you thought I was mocking you or whatever, I just want to let you know that I have ASD and I went many years without a diagnosis so it is really hard for me to understand these things and I don't do it on purpose to annoy you in any way and it actually causes me pain to be so confused at times.
Second, each time something happens, just laugh it up, and ask, in that specific moment what it is that you didn't understand. But don't pursue it too much, don't send them messages or anything, let it slide. Adults are a lot like toddlers sometimes, if a toddler does something "bad" you have to tell them or do something about it right away, if you ask later, or you insist for too much time, well they don't get it or get the wrong signal. Here is when you open one of those "cases of study" I mentioned. You know what they said, and how you understood it, you ask them how you were supposed to understand it, and why. If you don't understand it right away, don't worry, maybe you will, maybe you won't. The point is that they see you make an effort to understand them.
If they see you making an effort to understand them, then they may make, in return, more of an effort to understand you. Like a quid pro quo. Humans have a tendency to act that way, if someone is nice to them, they tend to be nice to that someone.
I have the feeling that maybe they think you don't care to understand them, or to be more like them. I know that is just ridiculous, but that is how many people feel in this situation. Believe me, I have had people telling me such things right at my face.
Third, from time to time, when you are sharing stories, during lunch, or whatever, tell them similar situations you have experienced with other people. Just the one, once in a while: don't tell them a bunch, because they could think you are complaining to them in an indirect way. Like say "the other time this happened to me, and I wound up having to pay this much more money". Or whatever thing that happened to you that had a negative impact because you didn't understand the hints or indirection or whatever. And you can take the opportunity to ask them for advice, or just tell it like a funny story. "Silly me making a mistake".
Don't ever think that because someone is not on the spectrum they get all the subtle clues and hints. No one does, that is why so many people make silly mistakes. Otherwise, dating world would be easy, if everyone understood every single hint and nuance. And it is not! Just show them you don't take yourself so seriously and you understand that everyone makes mistakes.
Fourth, this is something I do a lot. As I said, I don't always get when someone is saying something for real or not. So whenever someone asks me something, I paraphrase them in a summarized way, I say something like "you want me to do this and that, by X time. Correct?".
If I feel that what they are asking me is something odd, I ask them again:
Are you sure you want me to do this? Remember that I don't know how to tell when someone is teasing me, so if you insist I will do it, but please don't tease me further because it is very taxing for me.
I actually have said something similar to friends, and they say "yes", or tell me "nah I am kidding". Everyone can take a little bit of joking, but when you make it clear in that moment that it is making you feel bad not knowing if they are serious or not, people usually stop.
Don't take it the wrong way from them; it means they are integrating you, since in general people tease each other when they get along.
If they said "yes" but really didn't want you to do it, and you did it, if they complain, you just tell them:
I told you I didn't understand if you were joking or not, and you insisted you were not joking, I am sorry but this one is on you.
This way you are taking the responsability to their side. You made clear in that specific moment what you understood and what you were going to do. If they didn't change what they were saying, well it is clearly their fault. If the traffic light is red and you cross anyway, it is not the fault of the traffic light, it was telling you clearly "do not cross".
Fifth, if they say something that it makes you feel like they are insulting you. Tell then:
I am sorry, you know how I find it hard to understand these things, are you actually insulting me "telling me x and x", or is just a joke? Could you explain it to me?.
Avoid antagonizing them.
It is clear you are in a delicate situation here. For whatever reason they are antagonizing you, whether because they misunderstood things you did or said, or because they are not really that empathetic in general. Telling them right to their face "I am this way and you should understand" won't change your current situation.
I know it is not fair, but people act this way sometimes, and as I said you can chose your battles, let them be or try to approach them in the inderect steps I told you.
I understand the feeling to want to make them see, but people change when they want to change, and you can not make them change. That is why my steps are "friendlier": they are meant to make them see how you really feel, and how you are trying. The steps are supposed to help make them more empathetic towards you and then maybe they will want to learn.
However if at some point they come of as really attacking you, ask them:
How would you feel if you had a son or a daughter with ASD and she was being treated like you are treating me now?.
But save that just for something extreme, like people yelling at you or insulting you. Beucase as you are aware, you don't always understand the social cues and something that you think is mean maybe for them is just a joke.
You may never fully understand all the cues and hints, but know that most people don't either, and you may learn some of them, but don't feel bad, accept and love yourself for who you are, and eventually you will find other people that will love you too for who you are.
