I will soon bring up the idea of a backup method of contraceptives to my girlfriend of 7 months. We usually only use male contraceptives, but she is the first girlfriend that I've had which isn't on another form as well. This makes me a little paranoid and takes me out of the moment when we're intimate.

I understand it's completely her right to refuse to use contraceptive, but I also believe it's my right to protect my future as neither of us are ready for a child.

Is there any way to give her an ultimatum without forcing her hand? I want her to make the choice on her own, but I'm not comfortable continuing the relationship without extra protection.

  • Are you not comfortable "continuing the relationship" or do you just want to not have sex with her anymore if she's not on extra protection?
    – Erik
    Oct 29, 2019 at 18:34
  • @Erik Yeah. The latter I suppose.
    – Scott
    Oct 29, 2019 at 18:36
  • 6
    I have a problem with the formulation of this question. An ultimatum is inherently an effort to force someone's hand, and as written the question is difficult or impossible to answer because it's not clear which tradeoffs between those outcomes would be more or less acceptable to you. You cannot give an ultimatum without giving an ultimatum. Would you consider rephrasing, possibly to something like "How can I persuade my girlfriend to use contraception without giving an ultimatum?"?
    – Upper_Case
    Oct 29, 2019 at 19:16


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