I am living with a very messy flatmate. It is a shared living arrangement, where we both pay rent to the landlady.
- Taking out trash: She never took out the trash. Initial agreement was that we would take up the responsibility alternately. But even when I would specifically tell her that I have taken out the trash today, can you do it tomorrow, she would say "OK", but next day would just make herself unavailable (sleeping/busy in washroom/have to leave early for work). About a week later, I started keeping separate dustbin for myself and informed her so.
- Drinking water: We are supposed to call and pay for drinking-water cans. This responsibility also we decided to share alternately. But I started noticing that when its her turn, she would just put the money(after multiple reminders) at a common place making it my responsibility to call and get the can delivered. I didn't want any hassles with things such as 'drinking water'(it had happened on certain occasions, that our drinking water can would be almost empty, she would still not bother to make the call). I started keeping this separate as well and informed her so. When we had this conversation and I told that going forward I would be keeping my can separate, then she asked me for the shop's contact number which delivers the can.
- Leaving the lights/fan on: She used to sleep with the lights on in common area (the switch was in her room and she sleeps much much later than me, so it would not be proper if I turned it off when I got to sleep). Initially I thought maybe she is scared to sleep in dark. But after asking her, her response was "Is it so?! I fall asleep talking on phone, so never realized." Though, since then she makes sure to turn if off before sleeping, I have seen on multiple occasions fan/geyser left on, even when not in use. This bothers me as it's wasteful and also we share 50-50 on electricity bill.
There are many other occasions where I feel maybe she is just careless like - talking very loud on phone till late in night, not opening the front gate when someone rings the doorbell (though her room is closer to the main gate) but I don't want to discuss each and every petty issue. We are both adults and I feel like I am being a "nag".
My current problem is regarding the shared washroom. As with other things, understanding was that keeping it clean would be a shared responsibility (she had agreed to sharing responsibilities in presence of the landlady), but lately it has become very dirty with her hair clogging up the drain. When I asked her, she flat-out said "We shouldn't be doing it, it's landlady's responsibility". I tried to explain her that we are supposed to clean up after ourselves, the landlady is not responsible for our trash/washroom. (The landlady lives about 15 kms away in the same city).
I have been living in shared arrangement for a few years and had various roommates but I am not sure how to deal with this. It has been few days already since the conversation and she has made no effort to clean. After her response I don't think there is any point talking to her (and I want to keep that to a minimum going forward for the sake of my mental peace).
My options at this point:
- Clean it myself: I am very reluctant to do this since we both use it, and I don't think there'll be any contribution from her (except more mess). Had i been the sole user, I would've no problem in cleaning.
- Talk to landlady: Ask her if she has any solution, not sure how fruitful it'll be though. I don't think asking her to come and clean is right/practical.
- Look for another living arrangement: It would be my last option. It would be a shame to let go of this flat. It's in a good residential area, walking distance from work, budget-friendly.
Any other options/suggestions that I might be over-looking are appreciated.