I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She often tells me to do things that I would've done without being told but since she's telling me, I get the impression it's urgent or bothering her.
Here is one example. I had a friend over for dinner. While my friend and I were eating, my roommate started talking to me about cleaning and splitting expenses. My friend and I got full and watched TV without putting away leftovers. Very quickly my roommate messaged me "I hope the kitchen gets cleaned soon". I cleaned it right away, but noticed that she did not use it. I don't see why she sent the message if she wasn't going to use it.
She's really nice and I noticed if I explain things in basic terms she would understand. For example, she kept telling me to take the garbage out, I finally was able to explain to her it's common to have a small bin inside and when it's full, empty it outside.
So how can I explain to her it's considered awkward to bring up cleaning or roommate issues when there is a guest over?
I'd like to make her understand I don't have to be reminded to clean after myself but I don't know how to do so without sounding rude.
One problem I've had with her communication style is she says what to do not what she wants/needs. For example, I would have preferred "I'd like to use the kitchen now" rather than "I hope the kitchen gets cleaned soon".
Added: in the comments a point is brought up that maybe she doesn't like to look at the mess. I'm not sure how to address this because to me it seems obvious something (such as the kitchen) is going to be messy when it is in the middle of being used.
Also my philosophy with roommates (and in life) is try to ignore minor things that bother you. For example she leaves her socks with her shoes at the door, which I don't like looking at, but I chose to ignore it. I don't want to turn this into a battle of attrition where we keep telling each other to do.
Another point brought up in an answer/comment is having the guest help clean. I think it would be rude to ask your guest to clean, but if they offer then it's ok. Out of curiosity do other people see it differently?