I want to follow up my earlier question please. As I wrote, this year is husband's 10 year high school reunion. Some schoolmates emailed him about catching up separately. He's grappling — society, at least in Canada, dis-respects his job listed in this Reddit post. On the other hand, he exceedingly wants to reconnect — he has no friends except me! I think he shall!
Yesterday he "took a flyer" and met up just one schoolmate. He thought if it went well, then he'll reunion. Unfortunately those answers didn't solve issues. Call his schoolmate Jo.
Jo — So lovely to see you! How've you been? What have you been you up to?
Hubby — Yes, lovely to see you too! Nothing special. Oh, my work is boring, but it pays the bills. Do you still live in Toronto?
Jo — Yeah. I work at a downtown hospital.
Hubby — Congrats! I hope it pays well?
Jo — Well my job isn't that special either. Being a surgeon has its ups and downs — the hours and stress are crazy! Hey — I remember from school that you liked food and cooking? Weren't you gonna open a high class Cantonese restaurant?
Hubby — Well.....I just do pen-pushing, data-management, customer management, office stuff, report-writing.
Jo — Oh I'm just curious. I remember from school that you were a private person. I care about privacy too.
Hubby — Yeah. I don't want to talk about what I do.
Jo — You don't have to worry – it's not like I'll tell people anything from this lunch – I wouldn't want the same for me! I can keep everything private like I always have. You can trust me!
Hubby — I'm too skeptical of people. I feel most people judge people by occupation and look down them. I don't think they should. That's why I'm being cagey. Sorry!
Jo — I get it! So do you think you'll go to the reunion?
Finally they changed topic, but ambiance immediately got and stayed awkward, uneasy, unrelaxed. He knew that in truth Jo didn't "get it". Jo put on cheery face and kept being amiable, but he knew she was dashed, unhappy. Hubby knew she felt that he didn't trust her. After a 90 minute lunch, they shook hands and left smiling, but hubby left with sour taste in mouth.
Looking back — what could hubby have done better, without betraying his occupation?