I am in a fairly large friend group - 12 people. We all go to the same school, but don’t interact much during the school day. Everyone in this group uses apple devices except one person - me.
This is a problem because this friend group communicates mostly over a collection of 4 iMessage group chats, which I, an android user, cannot access. Almost all of the group’s communication is through these chats - the time and date for our weekly movie night, any kind of information (someone once came out as gay to the entire group and I had no idea for 2 weeks), invitations to events. Needless to say, it’s almost impossible for me to stay connected to the group without being on the chats, as we don’t see each other often irl.
Previously, this was less of a problem, as I was using my old iPhone from before I switched to Android to be on the chats. It was an objectively crappy experience, as the phone was so old it often didn’t let me type, it lagged, and I had to carry around a second phone with me and keep it in good condition. But recently, the phone broke, cutting me off from the chat, and therefore, the friend group.
I’ve tried asking other people in the group to text me whenever activities are planned so I know when they are, but they always seem to forget.
I’ve tried a slew of dubious apps that will supposedly let me join an iMessage group, and they didn’t work.
I don’t want to switch to iOS because I prefer android, and I don’t want to buy another second iPhone because it’s not something I feel is worth it, not to mention, having to use a second phone specifically for my friends’ group chat is kind of shitty.
I can’t switch the chats to SMS groups, because I’m an AT&T user, and there is a maximum amount of people in an AT&T group text.
Now, I’ve tried to convince my friends to switch to other chat platforms, like discord or telegram or something I can actually talk to them on, but I’ve met with a lot of resistance. Reasons for not switching include: - Friends don’t want to have to download an app - friends prefer the aesthetic of iMessage - friends think it “wouldn’t be the same” if they had to use a different app - one person’s parents won’t let them get any chat apps
The last one is a pretty solid reason for not switching. But apart from that, I’m kind of pissed at the rest of my friends for refusing to even consider using discord or something. I’d download a strange new app for them - I spent 2 years carrying around a second phone just to talk to them. I feel like they don’t respect me, but also, I feel excluded, like every single person in the friend group is hanging out without me. I also feel hurt that none of them seem to care about this as much as I do. Now, the good news is, the person with strict parents is moving to another state pretty soon, and while obviously they’ll want to be in the chats, I imagine they’ll eventually drop off, which would make it possible to switch to a different chat platform.
So my questions are:
- How do I explain to my friends that not being in the chats is really bothering me?
- How do I convince them that my need to be a part of the friend group I am in outweighs their discomfort at switching platforms?