Over the past years my husband's stepmother has hosted a Christmas Eve gathering. However as things changed the event changed so my husband's family gets together on Christmas Eve and her family gathers on Christmas Day. We have not been extended an invitation this year but through the grapevine I have heard our attendance is assumed so I want to know how to text the stepmother and find out why we have not heard anything and kind of let her know we do not appreciate being notified 3rd party that our attendance is expected.
Truth be told, we may not be able to attend due to her expectations not being in alignment with ours. My husband is like "let's go and get it over with so don't have to schedule for a later time."
How can I ask my husband's stepmother whether she wanted us to come on Christmas?