I want to put in an answer that adds details to the approach described in SZCZERZO KŁY answer
Especially, since I take it from the comments, that my own experience with this situation might be helpful given the following comment:
@Ælis: I agree with you, breaking a relationship is sometimes necessary, even though sad. I had to give up many friends for various reasons. Also, that is why I just asked questions to SZCZERZOKŁY, to understand his point better. BTW, even my mother makes it compelling to use the "break relationship" path, but using the strategy described, things still go on. We get angry occasionally and do not speak for 1-2 weeks, but that is within reasonable limits, I guess, especially that often there are no topics to discuss anyway (we leave far apart, communication is only technology-based now). – virolino
So I had the very same problem with my mother, and it simply was as SZCZERZO KŁY just described. She kept telling me things that in a break down nothing more than "But if you say you want these things being changed, why don't just change them?" And I couldn't have a simple talk with her without this coming up. So at one point, I tried to start explaining to her just as mentioned in the other answer. She didn't respect what I said, tho. At one point I just started interrupting her whenever I spotted her coming up with it. She got upset, how I dare interrupting her. I told her that it is pointless telling me this same thing already more than 30 times. If she doesn't believe me, that I tried those things already when I say I did, Ok. But does she think telling me a 33rd, 34th or 35th time would change anything about my motivation of trying it if she thinks it didn't the first 30 times?
This lead to the relationship with my mom becoming very frustrating because she still didn't stop it. And me becoming more and more stressed by just thinking about having contact to my mom lead me to reducing the contact, what made her being even more accusing of me not wanting to spend time with her. It was a path of a few months where all our interactions were nothing more than her accusing me of being a bad son and me telling her that I can't continue having contact with her if she doesn't stop this behavior.
She didn't, no matter how much I tried to make her realize. So one day I wrote her a very long letter, trying one more time to explain to her everything going on within me and letting her know that it just isn't helpful so I don't want to have any further contact with her from now on. I heard from other relatives that she was really sad about that letter. (It wasn't written as tactful as I would have done it today, to be fair...)
But it just happened by this, that we had no contact for almost 1 and a half year...
There was some bitterness about it on both sides, no question. But I needed that long to get a different view on this... And it seems to me that the time served her good, aswell.
As like 1,5 years ago I reinitialized the contact. I approached her again. I wasn't really expecting anything having been different... But she was very careful with me. And, of course after such a long time, things were quite different.
First I only could visit her for no more than a few hours at best, cause just everything was reminding me of all the stress her company caused me. But as I figured on the course of the last year, she is respecting me now, she respects my decisions as such and doesn't even dare anymore to give me unsolicited advice. She kindly asks me if I would welcome hearing her opinion. And that alone is a level of respect I appreciate, that I of course wouldn't say no. All in all it was a very hard decision to do, and it probably broke my moms heart... But in the end it is better for both of us.
I slowly start again feeling more and more comfortable being around her and a few weeks back I was even for 2 full days at their place with a sleep over at Christmas. They visited me a few weeks before that at my house (living after I found a new job a few 100 Km apart). I told them, that I would prefer them not sleeping in my apartment, but rather taking a hotel, so I can just relax in the evenings but I am fine with spending all 3 days they were here together. So we did and we had a really great time.
So my bottom line here is. Despite it was a hard decision to do this, in the end it payed off. My mom took to her heart what I said back then, having had that long to think about it. And it seems she came to the conclusion that she should take my own perception seriously rather than talking down to me, despite her being my mom. So now she is giving me all the space I need (despite I think sometimes she is still sad about all the distance I need), is respecting my expression of my own needs and in return of this, I have the social energy and am feeling comfortable again with slowly more and more approaching her, as spending time with her isn't anymore as energy consuming as it was in the past.
Hence, yes breaking the relationship was a good thing. And if over months, if not even years, communicating your own requirements in an relation with family doesn't change this... breaking the contact purposefully for that reason might change things.
And if even that doesn't help... you won't ever get on a healthy relationship with that person anyways.