For Valentine's Day, my girlfriend told me she doesn't want chocolate or flowers. Instead of those things, she wants a specific beauty product which is roughly the same cost of chocolates and flowers. I ordered it online a week before Valentine's Day, but it won't arrive until the following Monday. I informed her of that and she was alright with it.

Today (Valentine's Day), I drove two hours to visit her since she's away at college. I showed up empty handed since her gift hasn't arrived yet and she said she didn't want chocolate or flowers. The plan was that I'd take her out to dinner, then give her the gift next weekend when I visit again. She was extremely upset and a bit angry that I arrived with nothing.

How can I explain to her that I feel hurt because she's mad/upset about this? I'm doing something nice for her and it feels like she's ungrateful for it.

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    Why can't you flat out tell her "that I feel hurt because she's mad/upset about this"? – XtremeBaumer Feb 14 '20 at 16:13
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    Hey James. It would probably help if you could elaborate on how you know she was upset/angry about you not bringing a gift, did she directly tell you that was the problem? Can you also tell us what you did already, I'm hoping you already gave her some reaction in response? Did this seem to calm her down or only make things worse? – Tinkeringbell Feb 14 '20 at 17:07
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    Have you had similar problems with her in the past? How long have you been dating? – DaveG Feb 15 '20 at 1:29
  • Was your GF aware before you showed up that you hadn't received her gift and thus would be coming w/o a gift to see her? – DaveG Feb 15 '20 at 20:04