So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now (in 2 months) and he has now gotten himself in trouble because of his female friends.

I'll start with the first incident when some girl kissed him. We're college students and at the time we went to different schools. He was new at that school for the semester and met and he told me he was trying to make friends.

One night he saw these two girls sitting outside his dorm. He said he met those once before. It was late, sometime after midnight, he said they talked for some time and it was chilly out and he gave the one girl his jacket then he invited them up to his room to watch movies. He said all three of them sat on his twin xl and watched a movie and one girl kissed him.

He then told her not to do that again and let them stay and watch the remainder of the movie. I felt like they shouldn't have been invited up because of how late it was and she also shouldn't have been close enough to kiss him, you can tell when some is coming in for a kiss and he also should've kicked them out.

Fast forward a few months he decides to transfer to my school the next semester so his cousin introduces him to his girlfriend who goes to my school. They make plans for them to go back to the campus. He hangs out with her and her friends.

One time she asked him if he gives head if he likes receiving head if he has ever 69-ed and of he has gotten head while driving. At the time of these questions, he was dropping her off at her house. I told him that was an inappropriate conversation and shouldn't be comfortable asking her boyfriend's cousin those type of questions.

He then told me he would stop talking and hanging out with her. He did not stop, she would call and text all hours of the night asking when can she come over to his place and when is going to come back to hers and when he would stop playing with her.

I told my boyfriend that I didn't like him hanging with her. He continued to hang with her, he would go to her apartment at midnight and not come home until 3am. I told him it is not ok to be at some girl's house until 3am when you're in a relationship. I didn't care if it was his cousin's girlfriend or not.

On Valentine's day after our date, he went to her friend's house until like 2am to hang out with them because of her birthday. He asked if I could go with him since it was a party and he went without me. And most recently he went over house around 10 at night and she told him she thinks they should have sex and said he told her he has a girlfriend and left. But before he went to her house I told him I was not comfortable with him around her. He told me I was overreacting.

So this is the second time he has put himself into a situation he shouldn't have been in the first place. He told me I shouldn't be angry with him but angry with the girl.

My questions are what boundaries need to be put in place? I tried to get him to see that going over females houses after a certain hour is not acceptable and also texting at late hours. I tried to met his new friends so I could get my idea as who the girl is as a person and make my own conclusions from my interactions.

How do I get him to see he puts himself in these situations and they can be avoided?

  • 2
    Hey Camille, this sounds like a situation that might very well make a person angry. But questions that ask us what to do or whether you're right in being angry are off-topic here. See our help center and our question guidelines for a quick overview of what would make a more acceptable question. Right now, we can help you with e.g. putting boundaries in place, but you'd have to tell us which ones you'd like to put in place, what you've tried to put them in place and how that failed. – Tinkeringbell Apr 14 at 20:52
  • It sounds like you two have very different priorities and interests. Maybe it's time to have an honest discussion about whether this relationship (and its boundaries) is what both of you really want. – electronpusher Apr 27 at 21:04