My cousins (all in the same family) and I bicker, a lot. I don't like that they tend to harass my grandmother when she shares political posts. When this happens, I tend to call my cousins out for their behavior.
Recently, my grandmother shared something that ended up being very controversial. I'll spare the gory details, but suffice it to say that the conversation quickly devolved into a hostile cesspool of negativity.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. Previously I've called them out for treating my grandmother as a naive child, being overly harsh to her, or just not being nice in general. The last two times this has happened however, one of my cousins blocked me completely on social media. What made the most recent experience different is that a lot more of the extended family (including aunts, uncles, and spouses of cousins) got involved and called out my cousins for their behavior. It would appear that I am not the only one upset with their treatment of our grandmother.
My cousins are unwilling to listen to the rest of the family, and have chocked up this most recent argument to the perception that the rest of the family is crazy, radical, and completely intolerant of their political views. They went so far as to tell me so in our private messages.
I've realized that in the past 10 years our relationship has become mutually toxic. Like really toxic, and I think its time to cut them out of my life completely, the exception being family reunions for my grandparents. I can maintain emotional distance for a couple days if it makes my grandparents happy.
I feel comfortable cutting ties with all of my cousins in that side of the family, except one. At one time we had a flourishing, deep, and emotionally intimate relationship. Sadly, over the past 7 years, our paths have diverged, and the relationship has wilted. Now it sizzles with latent anger, resentment and hurt. Cutting him off is hard for me because of what we once had. I also hesitate in cutting these relationships because I don't want to just abandon my grandmother to the wolves.
Regardless of my hesitation, I do believe it is time to cut off these toxic relationships. For my good, their good, and so that my grandparents don't have to witness this chaos again. It'll likely happen again given the recent explosion, but I want no part from here on out. I'm going to block that side of the family completely on my social media pages.
If anything I would really like to get closure with my cousin that I once had a good relationship with. Can it be done? What should I say so that I can get that closure without starting another fight?