My dad appears to have a long-standing misconception about my partner of nearly 10 years. He seems to believe she does very little to contribute, either in terms of labour or financially. Neither of which are true and it comes across as though he thinks she's taking advantage of me. She's done a lot for us, which he hasn't necessarily seen, but then there's no onus on us to be fully transparent about our lives. Instead, he seems to give neither of us the benefit of the doubt; as well as my partner, who is directly affected, I too feel undermined by this point.
These misconceptions are exacerbated during the harder times of our relationship, to the point that he can jump to conclusions. As you can imagine, these extrapolated opinions on false premises -- if they're based on anything! -- can not only be wildly inaccurate, but also offensive and insulting. I will stand up for my partner, but she suffers because of this, which isn't fair. It puts us off from seeing my parents and my partner, who didn't communicate with him much in the past, is (not unreasonably) increasingly reluctant to do so.
For example: Last summer, they kindly let us stay with them temporarily because we were having problems with our apartment. I had to work from their home during this period. However, in a short amount of time, this was met with:
What if you lost "working from home"? What would she do then as regards things outside her control like the building work? She would have to live with it.
He's making assumptions here about my partner's ability -- or his presumed lack thereof -- to deal with issues beyond her control and that I somehow facilitate this. This was predicated on nothing, which he worked himself up into, and isn't true. I set the record straight, but it's caused damage in the meantime. Moreover, this correction was never acknowledged and it needed to be repeated in a separate incident this year.
This doesn't happen regularly, but frankly once would be enough. I also believe my dad is not being intentionally hostile, nor do I think he dislikes my partner. I think he's trying to help/advise me -- whether solicited, or otherwise -- but doing so in a very overbearing and inconsiderate way. When I have spoken up against his accusations, he does back down. However, given the recurrence of his attitude, it leads us both to believe there must be some deep rooted misconception.
We are living apart from my parents, so there's no immediate "threat" of this happening. Also, I have just begun to open a dialogue with my mum -- who is more rational -- to try to set the record straight and, I hope, get to the bottom of things. I'm not good with confrontation and I obviously don't want to burn bridges with my parents. Is there anything else you can suggest we can try to redress this behaviour?