I recently moved from 20 years in an isolated location (no neighbors in sight) to a suburban neighborhood (we can all easily see into each other's windows.) This alone made me anxious; meeting and being social with so many 'strangers' in such close proximity is not a routine situation to find myself in, and I feel clumsy navigating the dynamics of being the new person here. There are no fences on our block, so it's one big yard.
The worst is over and I've made friends, but I have a neighbor who has stopped talking to me (except when she wants medical advice.) If I say "Hi" or wave, she looks away. She was friendly initially, but she's icy now. (Her kids - 12, 8 & 4 - used to talk to me all the time, and come over. When she stopped talking to me, so did her kids.)
I've tried talking to her in the least accusatory manner I could ("Are my dogs being annoying?", "I feel that I might have offended you; can you tell me what I've done?" kind of thing), but she says, "No, no, I have a hearing problem" (which doesn't explain ignoring waving) or gives some other innocent-seeming excuse. She is pretty friendly with all of the other neighbors. If her dog runs into my yard (he's welcome to; I think he's a hoot, and it seemed fine for him to come over in the beginning), she literally screams at him to get back.
I asked one neighbor if they knew of anything I might have done to upset her, but they said no. I don't want to ask anyone else; I don't want to put anyone on the spot.
I feel very uncomfortable being in this situation; my personal philosophy is that how one handles conflict can bring people closer together or drive them apart, so I try to handle conflict and find a compromise, not ignore it and let resentment build.
How do I handle this breakdown of communication between my neighbor and myself when she won't even acknowledge it?