I am an introverted man and I am 30 years old. Because of my introversion & my country's culture, I never had a girlfriend; I have worked with women, I have been with girls in college; But I never had a female friend.

I think having a long distance friend from another country helps a lot in my mood; For example, I send her a photo of my lunch on WhatsApp and say: Hey, this lunch of mine is not very tasty, does not it look like that? Or to say that today the weather here is sunny; how is the weather over there?

I think this kind of conversation improves my communication skills and is useful. Now my question is, how do I go about finding an appropriate online place to find such a friend? Is it possible to find someone who likes this model of friendship?

UPDATE: I tried suggestions that appears in answers and finally, I can find some friends from pen pals sites, I chose a website without signup and just make connection with snail emails. fortunately it works! I found some friends from different countries and stay in touch with them.

  • 2
    I’m voting to close this question because it is off-topic
    – AsheraH
    Aug 24, 2020 at 19:55
  • 1
    Such communities exist, specifically to find people to talk to. That being said, the question is off-topic here and I am voting to close it. But I understand that this is not an easy question to find an answer to by blindly searching, especially if (no offense intended) your English isn't perfect. So I hope the link I provided helps you on your way, and I wish you good luck.
    – Flater
    Aug 24, 2020 at 23:55
  • @AsheraH I'm making a slight edit to the question so it says "how do I go about making an online friend" rather than "where do I make an online friend" so it sounds a bit less like a shopping question. Does that make it on topic in your opinion?
    – Kat
    Aug 25, 2020 at 0:37
  • Is the gender important here for some reason? The first paragraph about not having a girlfriend seems out of place and irrelevant otherwise.
    – Em C
    Aug 25, 2020 at 0:54
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    Hi jax. Interpersonal Skills is a website to ask questions and get answers about the behaviors people use to interact well. I agree with other people here that asking whether it is possible to find such a friend is off-topic and primarily opinion based. As for the 'how to go about', we're going to need more details to narrow down the interpersonal behavior we'd be helping you with. What have you tried so far, and how/why didn't that work out as intended? Would we be helping you with an introduction, with building up the friendship, what part would we be helping you with?
    – Tinkeringbell
    Aug 25, 2020 at 9:13

1 Answer 1


Yes, this is possible, lots of people have deep friendships online. I have personal experience with this because I was homeschooled for many years and didn't have many opportunities to make friends in person, so I made friends online. I still talk to some of those people today, some of them attended each other's weddings, etc. I've also turned to it again as an adult due to the pandemic, so I can say from experience this works.

The best way to find an online friend is actually similar to how you'd find one in real life: find a place to do an activity you enjoy with other people. It provides a built-in conversation starter, so things are more natural and less awkward. If you participate regularly and the group is a good fit then you'll generally make friends naturally. If the group isn't a good fit (maybe they're really rowdy and you're more quiet or they're very casual about the activity and you want to be competitive), then find a new one. There are tons of options, so don't feel stuck in the first one you find.

So what kind of activities can you find online? The two big categories in my experience are playing games and discussing something. Games are great because they provide a shared experience, and if nothing else, you'll have fun playing the game. Discussing any topic of interest can work too, if you're not a big gamer. There are discussion boards for every topic under the sun: cars, politics, current events, sports, stamp collecting, you name it. Reddit, Discord, and Facebook are all popular places for people to chat, and there are countless others if you don't like any of those. Just Google your topic + discussion and you'll probably find something. Even Stack Exchange has a chat function which you could use to meet people. The specific site you use isn't that important.

I suggest you steer clear of any apps specifically designed to meet people. Even if they say they're for friendship, people use them almost exclusively for hookups, That's fine if that's what you want, but you're not likely to make a faraway friend that way. Plus it's harder to find people who share your interests. Trust me, I've tried them.

Good luck!

  • Hi Kat! Please don't forget that in order for this site to be a good subjective SE site, it should be a place where people clearly share expertise, not opinions or thoughts. As a result, IPS has implemented citation expectations for subjective answers. If the question is improved, could you include in your answer how you have used it, and what the results for you were?
    – Tinkeringbell
    Aug 25, 2020 at 9:17
  • @Tinkeringbell I thought it was clear I was speaking from experience, but I edited in a couple explicit mentions of it.
    – Kat
    Aug 25, 2020 at 15:49
  • looks much better, thanks for taking the time even though the question is closed :) Explicit mentions of what you've done, in which circumstances, and how things worked out for you are really what this site is for, it's what makes the difference between something definitely being expertise or difficult to distinguish from thought/opinions.
    – Tinkeringbell
    Aug 25, 2020 at 16:13

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