I'm a 19-year-old girl, who has a Facebook account. My mom respects my privacy most of the time, like she keeps out of my Instagram account, but always keeps logged in to my Facebook account.

She literally goes through every single message I send. Not like I'm hiding anything from her. I don't have a boyfriend, nor does she suspect me of having one. But problem is, she takes jokes way too seriously.

For instance, one of my male friends called me a guy (as I'm a tomboy) and I responded, "Yeah right". Fast forward 5 minutes, and I get an hour long lecture on why I'm not proud of my gender. I tried talking to her about it, but even when I'm trying to keep my temper in check (I'm bipolar, so it is extremely hard) she yells at me.

Once I even logged out of my account on her device, which invited a two hour long lecture about what I'm trying to hide. Please help me out.

  • 7
    How does she justify browsing your account? Any prior incident, any relation to your mental condition?
    – Diane M
    Sep 12, 2020 at 14:42
  • 1
    Well, I'm Bangladeshi, for one thing, and I've had no other problem or prior incident. She thinks I may have a boyfriend or say things that may damage my image (even I have no clue what she really means by that.). She doesn't justify it. She just does it as if it's her right.
    – Ray
    Sep 12, 2020 at 16:01
  • 4
    What would happen if you simply refused to let her browse your account anymore?
    – Kat
    Sep 13, 2020 at 0:32
  • She will keep yelling at me until I let her do it, @Kat
    – Ray
    Sep 13, 2020 at 2:28
  • 1
    (why) would it bad to have a boyfriend for you?
    – guest
    Sep 16, 2020 at 17:41

1 Answer 1


I'll preface saying that I don't know the specifics of your culture.

You are 19 year old, this means you are an adult. By policing your facebook activity your mother is treating you like a child. Note, not like her child, that may always be the case, but as a child and not an adult.

What I suggest is having a talk with her on two points

  1. Having her controlling your Facebook hurts you because it means she doesn't trust you.
  2. This means it's not "your" account, but "your and her" account, your friends themselves may not have enough faith in you to send you private information on confide with you through Facebook knowing your mom may read everything that is said. You may also come across as a fake to your Facebook friends since you're not free to say what you really want on Facebook and it may damage your friendship.

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