I get annoyed with this. People start conversations with flattery like:

you have got this, you have got that you cover 360 degrees.

which I know is flattery with inferior motives. I get irritated with this. I can't avoid the person as they are close relative.

How to better handle the situation? How can I make sure that I communicate it in a better way?

  • To add to the question,should I respond to these sentences or ignore them and start conversations by asking questions on something else – Sashidhar Pegallapati Oct 3 at 15:19
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    I would avoid the multiple questions and also the "should I" part, so that your post isn't flagged or VTC'd. – OldPadawan Oct 3 at 17:37
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    Who and where starts conversation like this? One single person? And what does this mean? Does some request follow? – guest Oct 3 at 22:02
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    Communicate what in a better way? You also mention "people" in one part and "the person" in another. Is this multiple people or a single person. What do you think the ulterior motives are? – Kat Oct 4 at 5:38

The answer may vary depending on the type of relationship, so consider this general pointers:

Regarding the inferior motive, if you feel like you are being approached with a dishonest question you can always address this in a respectful manner. More specifically, you avoid being disrespectful if you phrase these things based on your reactions, and not on the other persons behavior.

Furthermore, we can never be entirely certain about the other persons motives, and this way of addressing things leaves the possibility open for others to give their perspective on things. They may have good reasons for acting the way they do, even though it doesn't seem that way at first glance.


The general formula is to describe:

  1. The situation as objectively as possible
  2. Your own thoughts/feelings
  3. A better alternative (if possible)
  4. End by asking for feedback (if you want it)

A strictly hypothetical example of the formula above could be: "When i am asked for things (1), i feel like i am being taken advantage of (2). If you actually want me to do X, i'd appreciate being asked in a more straight forward matter (3). What's your opinion on this (4)?"

Remember you are in your full right to say no. The exception to saying no - and perhaps considering a compromise - is if you have received several favors from this person in the past.

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