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TL:DR

I've been talking to this girl a lot over text and she's really nice, however we are hanging out soon in person and I need advice about how to maintain the type of communication we have over text, in-person.


I'm 19, my friend group is dating another friend group, and I've been talking to the only single one from the other friend group, she's really kind and really sweet.

The problem however is that I've only met with this girl once in person, at that time we didn't know anything about each other apart from what our friends have spattered about in gossip circles.

We began talking over text and it's been nice. We've gotten to know each other a lot and I'm well aware she has a crush on me from whispers from her friends, how do I try my best to not ruin what we got over text?

I understand nothing is certain and this post could be entirely useless because it will go great, but I'm a, 'plan for the worst' type of person, so this is my planning.

I've never been really good at social interaction, I code primarily and that hasn't opened any gateways for external social necessities, so I could really use your help.

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    Hello and welcome to IPS. Unfortunately as it stands it's not possible for us to help you. We need a clear interpersonal goal we can address. What you are trying to achieve "being more sociable", or overcoming anxiety in social setting, are personal goals. You could try to edit your question, or open a new one, that would be more focused and on-topic. Browse existing questions and the help center to get a better grasp on what's a good question here. – Arthur Hv Nov 5 '20 at 9:02
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From my experience it will always be a bit awkward to meet someone in person, that you have only spoken to in text. These are some things I do to make it less awkward:

  • Plan an activity. It's always easier to talk if you are doing something. So go for a walk, go mini golfing or play pool. Try to find something she will enjoy, but don't overthink it too much. It's just a simple activity which give you stuff to talk about when you feel awkward.
  • Go back to subjects you talked about before. Start with the obvious stuff, so the things going on day to day. Ask more about her interests. Probably the conversation will flow naturally .
  • It's weird for you both. Just mention in the beginning that you are happy to see her, but you feel a bit awkward after talking over text for so long. She will probably feel the same thing. After that just focus on the conversation.

You are not going to ruin anything. You guys get along over text. You will probably also get along in real life, as you already have a lot of friends in common. If not, there is nothing lost. Maybe you will end up with a friend. You will find someone in the future that works well with you in person and over text. Don't see this as something you will ruin, but as an opportunity to see if you click with this person.

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    So I decided to ask her to go to play pool with me, it blossomed, Thank you so much, cause frankly I don't think It would have worked as well as it did had I not taken some of your advice, so again Thank you! – Billys Tutorial Nov 7 '20 at 9:20
  • That's great! No problem, it's nice that it worked out. – josephine Nov 9 '20 at 9:15

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