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Question

I forgot to wish my father happy new year. Later in the afternoon, when I texted him to wish him a Happy New Year, he is refusing my messages. It seems he is angry and disappointed at me. How can I apologize to him?

Background information

  1. My father is actually my stepfather in which he began dating my mom since I was 6 and married her when I turned 10 to 11. My biological father lives in the USA and does not communicate with me on a daily basis. So, for most of my life, my stepdad has been more of a father and paternal throughout my life.

  2. For some time now, my mom and stepdad began fighting and disagreeing due to personal and business reasons. This tend to affect the family dynamic.

  3. My father is known for a high temperament and is very sensitive as well as having anger issues. Occasionally, this led to unintentional spats and drama.

  4. Recently, me and my stepdad got into a misunderstanding and a disagreement in which resulted in him saying I am disrespectful and not having a good attitude causing us to have have a bit of a rift in communication.

  5. My father went out of the city before New Year to visit my step grandmother in another province. The time zones are relatively very similar.

Story

Today the day of the new year. My family tends to spend time together during the countdown however My dad needed to go back to the paternal step grandmother home as the the step grandfather has recently passed this year and he wanted to be there for her. My mom and dad had a bit of a spat before which resulted in him taking an impromptu leave. During the New Year, me and my family had a small new year party at home due to COVID-19 restrictions and watched the fireworks. I wanted to text my dad but.. I didn’t feel like It as the pain from our last argument was still fresh and the words he said still hurt so ....I didn’t. I fell asleep right afterwards. During the day I thought I would just say the wishes in person to my dad in person ( I was not aware that he was to return 2 days later) and ended up not texting him. In the afternoon, my mom told me that dad was upset and hurt that I did not give the well wishes to which claimed I was disrespectful to my elders as such and had apparently blocked me.

Clarifications

I have wished him Happy New Year by sending an SMS on his mobile. I have also send a message apologizing for the late wishes. Even if I use it then it will also not be enough to make up for it. He has since blocked so I send the messages through my mom's phone. He is away for some time so I cannot talk to him personally. I cannot call him as he has since blocked me so I mostly relay the voice calls to my mom in her phone.

Issue

I want to say I am sorry for not texting nor calling him and that I may have held on to my feelings being hurt from that argument before get in the way of my mind and actions. I know I am in the wrong. I want apologize and explain but I don’t know how to. What should I do in this situation?

Any answers and advice are greatly appreciated.

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  • 1
    At which time of day (considering your time zone) did you send this SMS? Your question was written at a time when most time zones of the world are on new year's first day. The SMS was sent even earlier. So how much "too late" was it? Question lets assume you are in one of the early time zones, I don't know cultural expectations. Perhaps you should add culture and region to your question. – puck Jan 1 at 13:01
  • Is there anything definitely saying he has a problem with the lateness? If he is spending time with his mother to keep her company so soon after his father's, and her husband's, passing then perhaps he is just preoccupied? Sounds like the sort of time you might turn your phone off and focus on the person you're with and may just not have seen your text – Lio Elbammalf Jan 2 at 8:13

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