So I've been looking into non-violent communication (NVC) lately and I came across the following:
Jackal Parent: Say you are sorry
Jackal Child: I’m sorry
Jackal Parent: You’re not really sorry. I can see from your face you are not really sorry.
Jackal Child: (begins to cry) I’m sorry.
Jackal Parent: I forgive you.
Along with the general idea of right/wrong being part of a domination culture that runs counter to the goals of NVC.
Apologies were baked into the culture I grew up in. Whenever I cause harm to someone (intentionally or not), I apologize. And when harm is done unto me, I expect an apology, and get upset when I do not receive one. Reading that article has made me come to realize that the latter is not constructive.
But it's also made me think about the former: I wonder if, given that as a species we tend to internalize behaviours we experience, the act of apologizing is part of making an environment where apologies are 'normal', and, consequently, 'expected'.
I wonder whether the act of apologizing itself can contribute to a domination culture, and if as such, I should change my behavior to where I avoid admitting wrong (due to the NVC outlook that right/wrong are unimportant/nonexistent) and instead try to jump straight to fixing whatever problem came up. To me that seems counter-intuitive, but I don't know if that's just a result of how I've been raised.
What place do apologies have in non-violent communication? Is apologizing counter to non-violent communication?