There's a lot to unpack here.
First off, you've already figured out the hard way that you should have this conversation at a time when you're both calm and can dedicate some time and attention to it. Pick a time when neither of you are in a rush, stressed, upset, tired, etc. to bring this up. You'll both be better able to express yourselves and process what your partner is saying in a productive manner.
Next, you say you work and he doesn't. It's pretty typical for the non-working partner to take care of household chores as their contribution to the household. Telling him you don't appreciate his contribution and want him to stop is likely to hurt him. People like to feel helpful and like they're doing things that are valuable. Him making sure you have your keys is one thing, but doing dishes and laundry is another. You may want to think about which of these types of things you actually have an issue with him doing for you all the time. Probably you won't actually be happy if you take on all the cleaning.
Another thing I suggest you consider before you talk is whether there is something else going on in your life that's driving this sudden change of heart. Maybe something else is going on that you don't have any control over or you feel you can't handle? Maybe not and it really is all about this, but I wonder because it's a sudden change. Regardless, think a bit about why a lack of autonomy is suddenly an issue and what you're hoping to achieve by making a change. Having this clear in your mind will make it easier to communicate it. If you're not totally sure where the urge for more autonomy is coming from, then that's fine, but it's still good to realize and acknowledge that.
Once you have straight in your mind what you're hoping to change and have given some consideration to his perspective, have that conversation. I'd probably start with an apology for snapping at him and show sincere appreciation for doing so much to help you. You did ask him to start doing those things in the first place, after all. Make sure the apology is accepted before moving on, hear him out if he has something to say. If he feels like he needs to defend himself with something like, "I was just trying to help you like you asked," then acknowledge that's true and again express appreciation.
After you've smoothed any hurt feelings over, explain to him how you're feeling lately about being so dependent on him for everything. At this point, don't ask for a change or say he's done anything wrong. In fact, if you can do this part without using the word "you" at all, that'd be ideal. Something like the following would work, obviously change the wording to reflect how you actually feel:
The reason I snapped at you is because suddenly I started thinking about how I can't even get out of the house or make a meal without being kept on track by another person. Although it does make my life a lot easier, it also makes me wonder if I could even do those things at all without help. I worry what will happen if no one is around to help me with those basic tasks.
Okay, it does technically have a "you" in it, but hopefully you get what I mean. Note that someone will really have to try to feel attacked by that. You aren't saying he did anything wrong, you aren't blaming him for making you feel badly, you're just explaining how your feelings have changed. If you know this is partly driven by some other event, then say so. If you don't know why, simply say something like, "I can't explain why I suddenly feel this way, I just know that I do and that I need to do something about it." I say this not because you need to justify wanting autonomy, but he's going to wonder why you suddenly changed your mind. You don't need him worried you've decided to leave him or something like that when it isn't the case.
Once you've talked through that bit, ask for the change you want. Keep in mind that he's developed habits that are going to take some time and effort to break, so maybe start small. Perhaps you could ask him to let you be when you seem like you're not completely sure what of you're doing, unless you explicitly ask for help. Say you'd like to drive sometimes when the two of you go out, or help him with chores, or whatever you decide is most important to you.
Again, even if his intentions are the best and he's absolutely on board with all this, changing habits is still hard. If he asks what you're looking for in the kitchen, feel free to say, "I can't remember, but I'll figure it out on my own, thanks". If you're heading out and he automatically grabs the car keys, tell him you'd like to drive. If you see him folding laundry or making the bed, jump in to help. When you're getting ready to go, announce that you have your keys, mask, and wallet. This is as much on you to be proactive as it is on him to stop doing things for you.
It sounds like you two have a great relationship and that he really cares for you, so I'm sure you'll work this out just fine. You've got this.