I (21 Male) had a friend (20 Female) and I had some feelings towards her. I told her about it but as she was committed she denied. We remained friends, but one day I said something wrong about her boyfriend and she blocked me that day.

I tried to convey my apologies to her for the next three months but all in vain. I just was apologizing for being shitty towards her. And that's it. But things got worse. I just asked her friends for help and I even texted her with different numbers.

I realize this is harassment. I don't want to continue this anymore. But there is one thing that still bothers me. I want her friendship back.

I can still go and see her at her house or can call her with the last number I contacted her with. I'm planning to wait a long time before contacting her again, to try and ask her to be somewhat positive and try supporting the friendship, maybe we could start with chatting.

How do I best deliver this last message, in order to increase the chances that she accepts the attempt to restore friendship?

Culture: Both of us are Indian Nationals and we belong to stereotypical families but she is somewhat more open to things than I am.

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    Please avoid answering/discussing in the comment section and use it for asking for clarifications or suggestions to improve the question.
    – A J
    Jul 27, 2021 at 3:18

2 Answers 2


You can't force her to be friends with you, and you've poisoned the water.

She blocked you, and you bypassed her barriers with different numbers, friends, and lots of methods and weren't successful. It's likely that she'll never want to talk to you again, because you repeatedly violate her boundaries.

Per this guide if your life is improving she is more likely to hit you up again.

If you acted too needy, she could keep you blocked forever, or possibly unblock you in the future. Chances are she will just to peek at your social media and see how you’re doing. If you’re doing worse or the same she’ll be happy with her original decision. And if you’re rising up and looks like you’re living life, she might feel like she missed out.

So, if you want her to value you as a friend again, you should try to look like a fun friend on social media. Earn well, go on fun holidays, go to interesting places, have cool friends. Harassing her more with further communication isn't likely to change her mind.

You should also evaluate whether there were other reasons she blocked you. If she disliked you in some ways, she might be less open to more communication. You should work on self discovery and improvement then.

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    Quite possible. You can't change her, and harassing her further after she has repeatedly tried to stop you contacting her is likely to further make her dislike you.
    – Nepene Nep
    Jul 27, 2021 at 14:57
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    If you keep finding excuses to harass her, like birthdays, you're likely to make things worse. She may later miss you. The more you push her boundaries the less likely that will be.
    – Nepene Nep
    Jul 27, 2021 at 15:25
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    She blocked you. Unless she unblocks you on her original number bypassing her block to message her is still harassment, even if it's her birthday.
    – Nepene Nep
    Jul 27, 2021 at 15:30
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    @AjaySinghRana or maybe you have a habit of violating boundaries and she got sick of it
    – Kat
    Jul 27, 2021 at 16:07
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    One thing that should be said is "stop it. Just stop trying to contact her." You touch on this but I submit it should be said clearly. Jul 27, 2021 at 16:52

I've only blocked a few people from contacting me through social media, text messaging or phone calls. When I do it it's usually because I need to distance myself from that person and I feel that it's better for my well being to not have contact with that person.

It sounds like your "former" friend probably feels the same, so I wouldn't recommend going to her house or trying to contact her by phone. I think the only thing you can really do is wait to see if she ever decides to unblock you and even if she does, it doesn't necessarily mean she wants to be friends again.

It's very possible that if you she unblocks you and you try and contact her that she may not reply.

It could easily just be that she decided to look at your social media because she was curious or bored, but forgot to block you again once she was finished looking at it. I've definitely done that before.

Now I imagine there's a chance you might see her out somewhere in a social setting or possibly while hanging out with mutual friends, etc. I imagine you're going to want to take the opportunity to try apologizing again in person. I wouldn't recommend doing that, but if you just can't resist the urge and try anyway, then I recommend keeping the apology short and simple. Don't expect her to accept it and want to be friends again. In fact don't even expect a response from her. You're probably better off just leaving right after if you can.

Everything you're saying indicates that she really wants space and distance from you. If you really valued her as friend, then be a good friend and give her that space.

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