How to request someone assisting me to not to involve others right away without offending?

Question

I approached someone regarding a work opportunity through email and they gladly provided me the information I had asked for.

Furthermore, they asked for some more details about what I am interested in and graciously offered to involve relevant faculty for further discussion. While I am very thankful for their initiative, I am a very anxious person and currently do not want a third party involved. I want to take a step back, complete this social transaction, then reassess and prepare mentally for another interaction (and decide if I even want that, which I might not given their provided information).

I have no problem however providing the details they sought, and maybe knowing who they might want to point me to, so I can approach when I am ready.

How do I convey this without offending?

• If I reject their offer without an explanation I am worried it would come off as offensive and odd.
• If I say I am socially anxious and am unsure about talking to someone else at this time it seems.. embarrassing, awkward and odd.

I suppose the odd can't be done away with(?). Is there a way I can ensure I do not offend (while maintaining some dignity)?

Answer 1

Ultimately, telling someone your wishes is your right and others need to respect that. You have the right to autonomy (the ability to make your own informed, uncoerced decisions). Unfortunately, there are times when you cannot avoid offence, and that will not be your fault. It is their responsibility to respect your rights.

Just point out that you are just looking at things and will contact others yourself when you are ready to, and please do not pass your details to anyone else.

If you want the option of speaking to the third party yourself, ask them what their details are.