I'm sure this question has been asked in multiple other scenarios, but my background story is very specific.
Disclaimer: this is quite lengthy.
I'm 14 and female, and my parents are divorced. I play travel softball and I have an upcoming tournament in two weeks that is about a three-hour drive and takes place during her time with me. My father is the coach of our team, but because of their divorce (the divorce happened when I was 5, so quite some time ago) my mom still hates my Dad with a passion, and therefore hates all things related to softball.
She has already said we will be leaving at night (later than my teammates), and I won't be permitted to hang out with my friends/teammates "nearly as much as I'd like" (Her words) while I'm there. Note: This isn't for a particular reason (ex: us being busy with something else) but just because she doesn't want me to. She's also said I'm going to have a curfew of about 8 pm, whereas everyone else's curfew is in the 10-11 pm range to be back to the hotel room.
I've offered to go and stay with my dad in an effort to both give myself more freedom, and so she doesn't have to be around him. However, she declined the offer because she doesn't want my Dad to have additional time with me. She's even gone so far as forbidding me from going with him, which I'm not sure is allowed. If it comes down to it, I will outright refuse to go with her and go with my father anyway, but I'd like to not have to do this if at all possible.
So, this all being said, how do I persuade her to relax her rules without sounding confrontational or argumentative?