- Noah & Emma are family as a result of their children marrying.
- Noah - Grandfather set in his ways and beliefs. Has strong influence over who can attend family gatherings.
- Emma - Grandmother who lets people do their own thing even if she doesn't agree. Has weak influence over who can attend family gatherings. Lives alone and hugely values visiting her children & grandchildren.
Emma is unvaccinated for COVID by choice and will never become vaccinated. Noah is strongly against this. Other family members are weakly opposed to but ultimately ok with this and have recently been happily interacting in person.
Recently, Noah had a talk with Emma that made Emma upset to the point of tears. His talk included hurtful, nasty, and false messages, themes uncharacteristic of our 25 year history together. The talk included:
- Accusation that Emma would give their children COVID and destroy the children's business (I strongly suspect the contraction of COVID would not destroy the decades long business of two healthy vaccinated adults)
- Accusation that Emma's son is angry at her for not getting vaccinated (I am the son's brother, in regular happy contact and have detected no indication of any anger)
- Accusation that Emma is a danger to Noah's health as his health is generally poor. (Noah socializes with other unvaccinated people, attends indoor public gatherings, and flies recreationally.)
- Accusation that Emma is splitting the family apart
- Information that it is her civic duty to get vaccinated
IMHO Noah assumes that others have the same values and political opinions as he does. After 25 years he has now realized that Emma has alternate opinions and is lashing out at her for not conforming to his beliefs. I share this information as I am not sure how to reconcile Noah's and Emma's strong contrary positions to restore family harmony. I don't believe Noah would be receptive to dialog that contradicts his messages above.
In person, there is obvious strong tension coming from Noah toward Emma and Emma is already being pushed out of family gatherings by Noah.
What can be done to improve the situation so that Emma can attend family gatherings without animosity? (Note: Emma will never choose to receive the COVID vaccine.)