I'm a 34yo single mom of a 4yo little girl, and I started dating again earlier this year after 10 years. So I'm pretty rusty.
I met a really nice guy online, and we met IRL in June and have been dating since. He's met my daughter, and we've met his kids, and it's just been so wonderful to spend time together for Christmas this year. Naturally, we've become pretty serious.
He's insisted on paying at all of our dates so far. I've offered to split the bill and that I can afford it, etc, but he's insistent. He's always said that I'm a single mom and I can't be making that much and it's the least he can do.
The thing is, we have been doing more as a 'family' in December, and also looking at doing some more expensive stuff for Easter next year. He has kinda just assumed he'd be paying and it's making me feel uncomfortable. I'd really like to have a conversation about finances. I have said that I don't mind paying half and he's just not taken me that seriously, like "oh no don't worry, I can afford it".
We have discussed it before earlier on in the relationship, in a general way, and asked how I'm doing financially, and I've kinda waved it off and said "I make enough for what we need" because I was uncomfortable talking about it earlier on (it was date 3 or something). The truth is I am actually really financially well off and I wasn't comfortable talking about it so early on. I'm a professional engineer working online and we live in South Africa, where the cost of living is quite cheap, and I earn US dollars. So the exchange rate is really good. I make a lot more than I would locally. Probably 4 or 5x. I'm pretty sure I make more than he does.
Anyway, I didn't really want to talk about it back then, but now we're serious and it's been a couple of months and I am worried about him wanting to pay for all this expensive stuff when I really should be paying for our half.
I'm also concerned that he will have an issue with me making more than he does. It's a deal breaker if he wants me to stop working/not work.
How do I go about bringing this up without making a big deal about it?