I know the title sounds worse than it is, she's not that creepy to just move in with me out of the blue.
But the thing is, I live very close to where she works, so when the occasion came for me to go on a trip to my hometown for a couple of weeks, I told her that she could stay in my place in the meantime.
When I was coming back (already on my way from the airport to my place by train), she joked in whatsapp that she had left because she thought that I wanted everything cleared on the same day (when she texted me that I said "of course not! if I'm coming back, the more reason for you to wait for me there"); and then she proceeded to surprise me playing hide&seek when I arrived to my apartment, because she was actually hiding in the terrace.
It has been nice to be able to spend with her some days in my apartment after coming back from my hometown, but it's been already 5 days and there is no sign from her to get back to her parents' place, and my feelings of needing some alone time are starting to arise (for reference, I came back on a Wednesday, now I'm writing this on a Monday morning after she has left to her office).
I don't know how to bring this up without hurting her feelings. Some background that might help for building my case:
- We've been talking for a long time about moving to another city together. At work they just promoted her from consultant to permanent, which in theory should help her for this, given that the new employer has a lot offices around the world.
- Despite the above, it feels she's not in a rush to explore this because she just signed up for a 6-months course in the city we are currently living (and despite me telling her that I'm starting to get tired of this country and want to move out).
- She suggested we go check out another apartment in the city together, which is even closer to her office, cheaper and bigger than my current place (2bedroom instead 1bedroom). So, in a way, it feels like she understands that if we live together, we should both pay rent (I doubt that she wants to just move in without chipping in). However, I told her last week that I made a mistake when agreeing to the apartment viewing, and asked her to postpone it to another day (for another set of reasons, she decided not to postpone and she'll probably going to check it out on her own).
Things that I'm thinking of bringing up to justify me wanting to leave:
- I have a very busy two weeks ahead (work, assignments, and exams) and I fear I don't concentrate so well when she's around all the time. I really need to be alone to work hard.
- I still have jet-lag from my trip so sometimes I wake up at 4am in the middle of the night, and when this happens I cannot do anything for the fear of waking her up (which would lead her to not be well-rested for work) so I end up bored for hours looking at my phone. If I was alone I would just start my morning routine earlier and get the heck out of the house as soon as possible.
Any more advice in how to approach this conversation that I need to have with her? I love her so much but I'm still not prepared to live together, especially in this city that is draining on me already.
(Some background: I'm in my early 40s, she's in her early 30s, and we've been about 2.5 years together.)