I commute by train and lately, this woman is stalking me. Today she sat next to me and while I was reading a book she asked me which book was it, then she asked if I was married. To which I said yes and she quickly packed her bags and went away. It has been annoying and uncomfortable seeing her as this is the second time she stopped me to ask about my marriage.

I have studied in a boys school and haven't much interaction with female or female colleagues, just a few very close one and I have issues with women related to trust.

She is a woman and it is a train which she takes and I take, so,

How can I, in polite and gentle way, ignore her while not offending her?

  • 11
    What you described is not "stalking"; it was a single interaction, which it sounds like you resolved. Have you noticed a pattern of this woman following you, approaching you, or otherwise interacting with you? After she left, was that the end of the interaction?
    – Beofett
    Aug 29, 2017 at 15:34
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    Yes, I might not have mentioned. It is the second time she has stopped and tried to talk to me on the marriage question, What if she comes back again how do I ignore her.
    – localhost
    Aug 29, 2017 at 15:37
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    Please tell us what country this is in. It's an important detail.
    – NVZ
    Aug 29, 2017 at 18:23
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    Being talked to twice on a train by the same person isn't being stalked.
    – user4788
    Sep 13, 2017 at 9:36
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    I suggest to change the title of the question, perhaps to something like "How to ignore a stranger who repeatedly tries to interact with you?" (or "starts a conversation" or the like). A title containing an expression like "Stalking" should be left for appropriate questions. Sep 13, 2017 at 11:12

3 Answers 3


If it were me, I would stay busy. As a woman, where I live, this isn't an uncommon sort of thing to happen. If the person persists then being busy, I feel more comfortable to simply say I am not intending to be rude but I use this time to (and insert whatever here). For me I used such time to go over my planner, sort of either plan out my day, double check I have no appointments coming up I have forgotten, etc. If you read, you can blame it on reading, or even say you use it to decompress because once you are home your are busy with family life. I've used that one often too as it makes it clear you have a family you prioritize and are not interested at all.


I'll start by stating that in this kind of situations is difficult to come off as polite sometimes, as people don't like to be rejected when trying to interact with someone they have interest in (and by what you said about asking twice about your marriage, I would say that she has some kind of interest), so keep that in mind.

I don't know where you live. Maybe in your country interacting with strangers on the train is a common thing, but either way, I think that the best thing to do is just to tell her that you don't feel confortable with her questions. You can stress the fact that you don't know her at all.

Sorry, I don't feel comfortable talking about my personal life with strangers.

And if she keeps insisting after that, I would just ignore her. For example, if you were reading, just keep doing it without paying attention to her. Sometimes people will insist until you are rude to them.


I understand that you would like to avoid any confrontation with her, but I believe the best way through this is not to ignore her but to address the issue briefly and directly:

"Ma'am? Really, how can I help you? Do you have some need? I ask because I do not understand why you approach me.

I have told you that I'm married, but the further truth is that I do not feel comfortable having friendly talk with you, a woman, without my wife present.

Thank you for understanding."

Another possibility is to let the woman see you with your wife. Is it possible that she could travel with you for a couple of days?

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