I don't know why but with years I create more distance in my relationships. I have suffered from this situation a lot and that's why I am here for some advice.
For example, I have a problem accepting gifts or receiving help from friends, family members. It's like a torture when a friend invites me a beer or giving a birthday present or even drive me to home with the car. I don't have a problem giving but receiving. Actually, I give much more than I receive. Sometimes I think that if I would save all money that I spend on beers that I invited I could buy a new car but I don't care too much if I am not considered someone to take advantage from.
Some old friends complain about why I don't have contact with them for years. It has been years since the last time I saw a family member. That doesn't mean I don't love them, simply I don't find the necessity.
Sometimes I go to bars in the night to drink alone. I see people try to have a conversation with me but at the end, they give up thinking that I am a weirdo. I am not an asocial person. If I am in the mood I can talk to anyone about anything, especially with strangers while maintaining the distance which is easier than with people.
I don't want to be a witness of people's feelings, especially when they cry. I hate people when they cry.
I don't want to be this kind of person that I described above. I want to enjoy a conversation without thinking the next move, smile to my GF without thinking what an unreal situation I am in, be able to accept gifts from friends without thinking the responsibility of returns, etc.
What should I do to overcome this person? Any advice would be appreciated.