I've been invited to a night out with a few friends and we're going to a drag show! Something that I've never done before but I am excited about.

I believe that there will be other drag queens there that aren't necessarily going to be performers and I'm unsure how I should address them if I were to chat with or about a queen, i.e him, her or they.

I have plenty of trans friends that are very opinionated on pronouns and all have different views so I am reaching out to you all!

2 Answers 2


Huffington Post has an interesting article on the matter named "Drag and Pronouns":

Pronouns and drag can some times get confusing. When someone performs in drag, the accepted etiquette is to refer to them by the opposite pronouns. So a woman in drag would be a “he,” and a man in drag would be a “she.” That in itself isn’t too confusing.

and a Reddit Thread also echoes this:

I refer to the character by the gender presented, the performer by their identified gender.

For instance a cis man name Robert performs as a drag queen named Donna. Robert is he, Donna is she.

A trans man name Jake performs as a drag king named Paul, in this case both performer and character are he.


To complete Bradley Wilson answer, it is very common in trans, queer, non-binary, etc. community to ask someone their preferred pronouns. This way, you know for sure how you should address the person you are talking to and you avoid unintentionally hurting their feelings.

From this LGBT resource center, here is how you should go about asking the preferred pronouns:

Just ask! We encourage our allies to ask rather than assume a person’s pronouns. Similar to a name, we can’t know how to best respect a person in conversation without introductions. We encourage you to introduce yourself with your own pronouns to then open the door for others who feel comfortable sharing their names and pronouns with you to do so. A phrase you might use is “My name is [your name] and I use the pronouns [your pronouns]. Are there any names or pronouns I can use to best respect you?”

It’s okay if a person does not want to share their pronouns with you. Make sure that you don’t force someone to share their pronouns--especially in a public space. If someone doesn’t share their pronouns with you, you can always use their name.


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