How to handle limited time with an unwelcoming group

Question

Sometimes I get myself in situations where I'm introduced to a group and we are going to spend a limited amount of time together, such as a party. While some people and/or groups are incredibly open and receptive, some don't really care to make you comfortable or to let you into their group. Often the conversations are inside topics and jokes and there are rare interactions with me, making me feel ignored.

I'm not interested in make new friends. Most times I have a friend in common, or I'm new in a quick course, or spending a weekend with wife's work colleagues. I just want to go through one night, day or weekend..

How can I make the time go faster and less painfully?

Answer 1

If you have to be there, then make the best of it. What I mean is keep following the conversation until you have a chance to contribute to it. Hopefully, it won't be inside topics the whole time.

If the group is large enough, find one or two of them and just try to strike up a conversation that you can participate in. If they are receptive at all, they will take the cue and start to include you.

If this does not work after trying this several times, then you may have to consider the grim reality that you are "politely" being told that they do not intend to include you. Find a reason to leave like going to the bathroom. Then find your way to somewhere where you will "be appreciated". It's their issue, not yours. So make the best of it and move on.

Answer 2

Hmm. You say:

I'm not interested in make new friends

Looks like they aren't either. Just in case, you might look back on how you're carrying yourself, to make sure that you're not giving off "go away" vibes.

I find I must refer you to the words of Omar Khayyam:

He who has a thousand friends
    has not a friend to spare;
But he who has one enemy
    will meet him everywhere.

So, that said, it sounds like you just want to get into the smalltalk and pleasant conversations, yes? @John 's advice is good. Permit me to add another few thoughts. You might ask the common friend to introduce you around; this tends to give you a foot in the door.

Another approach I've taken in situations like that is -- people-watching. If you are not interested in breaking into the conversations, it can be interesting to watch how people interact.

Good luck!