He takes selfies while we are having random conversation. It's not that he is shooting himself and I accidentally appear in background. He specifically includes me in frame.
I'll assume that this is a frequently recurring situation. So, let's look at it how it could possibly be handled progressively:
Stage 1 (say, first 5-6 instances):
Make very polite requests:
"Listen buddy, please don't include me in the selfies you take. I'm not that type, and I don't like it".
After the first couple of attempts, you could assert yourself with, "I've told you before", every single time.
Stage 2 (say, next 5 instances):
He specifically includes me in frame.
While this clarifies his intent, it doesn't really specify how aware you are when included in the frame each time. Assuming you're aware, distance yourself from the frame for the first few times (in stage 2). If your requests are still not respected, politely walk away. If it's a group setting, it is entirely plausible that, one or more people around you (including the friend in question) might try to stop you or question you. You could simply resort to saying the following, with a wry smile:
"Sorry, I just remembered that I have something else to do too, aside from clicking selfies."
This should send a pretty audible signal of your disapproval. If you've set yourself afoot, it's important to understand that you shouldn't give into the persuasions to stop. If you do so, it could indicate that:
- You didn't really mean what you said, and / or
- You were only trying to grab some extra attention by creating a scene.
So, follow this advice only when you're absolutely sure that you can and you must.
Start avoiding the company, especially when outdoors or during breaks, which is when the "selfie syndrome" is more likely to click in. When you know that the selfies can't be taken (for example, in the lecture hall, if this is a college friend), you could still choose to be with them.
You might want to consider increasing the avoidance gradually, if you're unable to turn the situation in your favour still.
Now, the avoidance could lead up to either of the following two outcomes:
If they sideline you too, you'd know which "type of friends" you want to be with.
If they start getting back to you, you'll have the opportunity to play your cards:
"It's not that I don't want to be friends. However, friendship isn't just about selfies. Please can you give some consideration to my lifestyle too and delete all those pics which you've taken before, despite my disapproval? Would you at least ask me if I want to be included in a pic or not?"
Note: While this could help you retain your friendship with this "friend", it could subtly also mean that, on certain occasions, to not appear like a total jerk, you may have to give-in into the requests of clicking pics (for example, someone's birthday or anniversary).
You win some, you lose some. :)