3

I've had a friend for a while now, 5 years to be precise, and we used to be able to talk for hours with each other. Getting specific, both of us at one point were huge video game fanatics. We would talk for hours on a specific game that both of us played.

Now that we've both gotten older, I've moved on, and I'm not really interested in gaming anymore. As for him, that is the only piece of conversation he has to offer. Most interactions between us consist of one of us talking about what's 'going on' for us (for me, physics and science, for him, gaming) and trying to steer the conversation over to our own subjects. Occassionally, the conversation will just cease after a few sentences.

I have no idea what to do, he continues to start conversations that I'm not interested in. What should I do other than confront him and tell him to stop talking?

Improve this question
0

3 Answers 3

Reset to default
8

Be honest with him

People grow, and as they grow, they change. Sometimes we grow apart from other people because our interests become different. What you should do is just tell him openly that gaming is not really on your mind anymore, and talking about it isn't interesting you at all.

From where I'm standing, I'm pretty sure your friend also realised that you two don't really have much in common anymore. because like you said :

Occassionally, the conversation will just cease after a few sentences.

Usually when a discussion drops after a few sentences, it's a clear cut sign that both speakers understand that there is no point in talking.

I think both of you kind of feel the same way about your discussions, and if you were to bring it up, and talk honestly about it, I'm pretty sure you'd be relieved, and him too.

Improve this answer
2
  • Thank you mate, I will try to be honest with him; but I don't want him to feel upset about it.
    – Obsyden
    Sep 13, 2017 at 10:57
  • 1
    @Obsyden try to avoid implying that you're lack of interest is not because you have matured beyond it, but simply because your interests have changed. That will go a long way towards helping him not to be too upset.
    – kingfrito_5005
    Sep 13, 2017 at 20:09
3

If you want to continue conversations with him, naturally you will have to find out new subjects that the two of you find interesting. Gaming still remains his interest, but you don't feel the same way.

Tell him. Tell him that you're now interested in other subjects. He should understand that it's not helping if he continues to talk about games.

I still love movies and games and even cartoons for that matter. Most of my friends have either lost interest in those or are very caught up in other things. I try not to bother them by involving them in such discussions. But instead, I found other people to talk about those.

Improve this answer
1

Do you still want to be friends with this man?

If yes, maybe it's worth leaving longer periods of time between chats. E.g. if before you chatted very week now talk every month or every 2-3 months. This way, you'll have more to talk about.

Does he know you've moved on from video games?

Ask him about other areas of his life like work or people he met through gaming rather than the game itself.

Also, put a time limit on the call:."I only have 20 min as I'm going out with my girlfriend at half past, but I want to hear how you've been".

He may feel he has to fill up the time as you used to talk for 2hrs so now maybe thinks you still should be talking for hours even though there's less in common to talk about.

Improve this answer

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.