When I was a child, around 10, the brother of my mother sexually abused me several times, he was around 25 to 30 then, it wasn't penetrating but more than fondling, related with ejaculation, his genitals were involved. At that time I didn't know what is happening, later on, when I realized that situation it kept haunting me, I didn't have the strength to tell my mother, but now I have got the courage to do something about it.

My elder sister came to know about this when one sister of my mother yelled about it while not in her senses due to some mental illness, my sister asked the other sister of my mother and she confirmed it and according to my sister, the aunt sounded like supporting her brother. My sister didn't tell my mother, my mother came to know about it after more than 10 years.

I belong to a community where rape is no doubt a crime of highest degree, but exposing rape of a woman punishes the victim as well. the community humiliates her, mocks her and it gets difficult for her to get married. Police are well known for being corrupt and they exploit the situation. And I am sure this is why my mother and sister couldn't do anything about it, they wanted me to forget about it, get married and live a happy life.

My question is how should I deal with this situation?

As I said the Police is corrupt so it is for sure that I am not going to take any legal actions. Other options are

  1. Forget about it.
  2. Expose my uncle by telling it to everyone else. I am sure I and my family (my husband, my children, my mother and brothers & sisters) will have to face the humiliation.
  3. Boycott him (ultimately the news will get spread and point # 2 will happen)
  4. Talk to my uncle, tell him to sorry in presence of everyone else who knows about it. (What if he doesn't agree?)
  5. Tell my family and get every single child of my family protected (not sure if he is still doing it or felt guilty and back on the right track)

Please help me and let me know of better options to deal with it with minimum damage to me and my family.

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    While there is a Interpersonal aspect to this question, I don't think this is something that should be answered here. Please see someone that can help you in confidentiality like a psychiatrist.
    – JAD
    Sep 16, 2017 at 10:35
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    You don't have to share your location if you don't want to, but there might be government agencies or relevant to your situation non-profit organizations that could offer some guidance. Sep 16, 2017 at 11:33
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    I agree with @JarkoDubbeldam. You should seek help professionally.
    – Sachin
    Sep 16, 2017 at 11:39
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    @Sachin She might not be able to see a counselor for various reasons, financial, accessibility and so on. Sep 16, 2017 at 11:47

1 Answer 1


Thankyou for sharing your situation with us.

Whilst I'm sure that many people here, myself included, would love to help you deal with this issue, it would be irresponsible for anyone to give the advice you are looking for. We are not professional counsellors or psychiatrists, and are far from qualified to provide you with an adequate answer. I have already posted a list of abuse helplines for different countries, but I'll post it here again:


If anyone can find a more comprehensive source, please share it below.

Again, you'd be much better off seeking professional help than asking for advice here. I am saying this purely out of concern for your safety, as listening to incorrect advice could lead to serious consequences. You'd be much better off seeking a psychiatrist or counsellor, or if that isn't available, you could also try contacting a professional online. With that being said, make sure that the person you are talking to has the credentials to provide you with advice before taking it.

As per Tycho's comment, it would be easier for us to help you if you provided us with a country, as most agencies/hotlines are region-specific.

Best of wishes

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