7

Although I am more experienced than others in some field (Programming and Electronics, but that's not so relevant to the question), I am never given the opportunity to show my worth. The "people" and "others" I am referring to are friends of mine.

I doubt it is because I constantly say "I am better", because I don't say that. There have also been many occasions where a problem remained unsolved for days, because no one listened when I explained that I can solve it, and also when I explained the solution itself, it was disregarded.

How can I show people that I can be useful, and that asking me for help can be worth the "effort"?

I am simply not given opportunities to show my usefulness, whilst other people (who have less experience than I do) are constantly asked for help, which they often can't give.

Improve this question

3 Answers 3

Reset to default
10

Just do it.

If there is a problem that you can solve easily and your friends cannot. Just solve it. I understand that this might not be possible in some situations, but, if your friends see you effectively solve this one then they will know your skill and ask you in the future.

Talk about it

Another way is to casually bring it up in conversation maybe if someone asks "what are you guys doing this week" or something to that effect you could talk about what you like to do in your spare time / for a living / whenever you do programming and electronics.

If your friends are interested in it, you might be able to go into a bit more detail about your projects / job / whenever you do programming and electronics and they might start asking you for help right then!

Improve this answer
1
  • The Talk about it tip might be super useful. I'll try it later today when I meet them. Thanks!
    – ItamarG3
    Jul 3, 2017 at 11:53
3

There have also been many occasions where a problem remained unsolved for days, because no one listened when I explained that I can solve it, and also when I explained the solution itself, it was disregarded.

I think the best way to prove something to someone is by doing the task at hand, and notifying people/friends later.

Also, don't mind me saying but if the people show the careless attitude like your friends showed, you might consider finding new friends, who if not encourage, at least show an appetite to listen to you and not disregard you totally.

Improve this answer
2
  • I may have been too harsh in my description. Their ignoring of me is not a constant thing, but it does happen sometimes. But thanks.
    – ItamarG3
    Jul 3, 2017 at 12:05
  • I understand. I just wanted to say that if it's happening a lot more than it should, then it's not good for you in the long run. No hard feelings for your friends!!
    – Sachin
    Jul 3, 2017 at 12:11
1

As someone who is somewhat known for not speaking unless I have something valuable to add to the conversation, I can tell you that after a while people notice and listen much more carefully to what I have to say compared to some of my equally smart friends who do the opposite (give their input on what they think about every topic).

Now, there is nothing wrong with giving tons of input. It helps the flow of the conversation and certainly does not mean the person is dumb or never has anything valuable to add. But I have found that after people realise this trend, they will pay less attention to said person's suggestions. Whereas on the other hand, once they notice how I very rarely offer solutions, and those I do offer I am absolutely sure it will be useful, they treat my answers with a lot more respect than my friends. Think of it like statistics, if 20% of what you say is a good old joke then a friend hearing your valuable solution may not take it seriously. Then you can either try to lower the percentage or at least rest assured that your friends don't think you are dumb or have no valuable input, but rather they have just spotted this trend in your response and are not clue-y enough to realise that this time your idea was a valuable one.

Which leads me to part 2 of my answer. Make sure that when you are confident in a solution, you clearly portray yourself as being confident about it with a distinct difference to when you were not so confident. If you can successfully make it so that your friends can easily tell when you are sure about a particular solution is generally a good IPS way to make people more confident in you, but it also serves as a good way to combat a trend of saying things you were not confident in.

Even if this doesn't really apply to you, and you are not a chatty person like my friends. I would still say that exaggerating some of these points will help persuade people that what you are saying is useful.

Improve this answer

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.