My ex-boyfriend and I had a difficult break-up. We haven't talked much since but I recently got a message from him about how he can't even enjoy watching TV shows anymore because this is something we used to do together. I assume he is still having a hard time... I haven't responded to him yet because I don't know what to say. If I said I understood, I would be lying because I'm not going through the same emotions (though it hurts to know he's suffering if he still is), but I don't like ignoring him either. (I'm guilty of not responding to him right away thinking it would be more painful if I kept in touch).
On top of that, his parents are visiting from the United States and they want to see me. I'm planning on meeting them and I'm looking forward to it. His parents have been really nice to me in the past and I do appreciate and respect them a lot. They are discreet and private people and I don't think they will ask me questions which might put me on the spot (e.g what happened with my boyfriend or if I am single). Americans are different in that they aren't as involved in their adult children's lives compared to parents from the Mediterranean region, which I hate.
However, I do want to ask about my ex, how he is actually doing/feeling and I am not sure if I should. If I don't ask at all, I'll feel like a jerk. If I do ask, I might feel I have to explain to them why I ended the relationship (though I'm sure they are aware of problems with my boyfriend) and I don't want to sound apologetic. For some reason I feel I should say something.
How can I show I still care about my ex, how he is actually/honestly doing/feeling? (e.g. Is it weird to ask if he's over the relationship?)
If I do ask and all I get is, "he's doing fine" (ex is living with his parents now), should I insist on knowing how he is really feeling and what's the best way to do that?