A few years ago I overheard my mom talking to her mom about removing the grandchildren from their will. My mom was making the point that she doesn't want us having everything handed to us, how we need to learn how to work hard. At the time I mentioned it to my sibling who brought it up to my parents. My mom defended herself by bringing up a motorcycle my sibling was thinking about buying and used it as an example of the kind of thing my mom didn't want us to waste money on. To be fair, my parents put both my brother and me through college, rent, food and all.
We were recently visiting my grandparents, and I overheard my grandma reiterating to my mom and her sister that she wasn't leaving anything to the grandkids. As it stands all money goes to them, and they can distribute to us as they wish.
Hearing this is very bothersome to me. I never had any expectations of getting money from my relatives and always just figured I would live off the money I earn myself. It bothers me that my mom thinks I don't work hard or that I would spend any inheritance inappropriately. It's like my mom is taking a gift from my grandma to me and saying I don't deserve it.
It really isn't about the money at all, I didn't even expect anything before I heard about all this. I would even be happy if they left me an old mug. It's more about my mom interfering and her interpretation of my work ethic. I sense that I may sound a bit like a bratty millennial here, so I'm looking for perspective. My goal is to better understand why my mom took these actions and to use that information to see if there is any action I should take to resolve my feelings about it.
How do I talk to my mom about the reason behind her actions and why she thinks what she thinks about my work ethic?