Sometimes I feel embarrassed when looking at a girl dancing on a show. I'm not speaking about lapdance or things like that, but 'regular' dances.

Probably, I'm making myself too many problems but where and what I should look at? I mean... of course, I'm there because I like dances and I appreciate either male or female dancers artistically speaking, but the sensuality is part of the dance and I appreciate that, too, in a girl. I look at the movement, the harmony, but even the body and the beauty of the girls.

Sometimes it happens, that I'm near the dancing girl, we look at each other and I'm afraid she can misinterpret my gaze. I'm not sure she will be happy to know that I'm looking (even to) her legs, her bottom, her body in 'that' way, because she can think that I'm not interested in the dance but in sex and in that situation I think it would be stupid to think of sex, because she's not dancing (just) for me, I don't even know her and I will probably never meet her again. Maybe she likes to be looked at, but I don't want to pass for stupid or rude or maniac (I'm not) and I don't want to make her uncomfortable.

Sometimes I look just in her eyes but I'm not sure it's the right thing to do because it becomes very personal. Also, I want to watch the dance...

What do you think? Are there some dancers who want to share their sensations?

  • You're talking about at a performance? They're specifically on a stage, performing in front of an audience? – Catija Oct 20 '17 at 16:30
  • yes, from a stage, but a little one, so we are near. When it's a big stage the problem do not exist for the distance – fabio Oct 20 '17 at 16:33
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    @JohnP I'm not sure either, but maybe interaction by exchanging glances? – Anne Daunted GoFundMonica Oct 20 '17 at 18:03
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    Re: What do you think? Are there some dancers who want to share their sensations? That's too broad, primarily opinion-based. Also, unclear what exactly you wish to learn by that question. However, you might have an interesting question related to How to not embarrass a dancer? as is your title and the theme of your question. If you can expand on that, maybe this can be answered. My thoughts. – NVZ Oct 20 '17 at 18:31
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    I'll try to answer your question in reverse. If you want to make the dancer feel uncomfortable, show your discomfort by looking away. And I understand that there are guys who can stare obsessively, but from your question, that doesn't seem to be what you're doing at all. Enjoy the dancing. Learn to enjoy the tension too. Do look away when you feel like it. By all means, I don't mean that you should repress your natural inclinations. I just mean that if you see tension as something to enjoy, and not to run away from, you can hold your gazes a little longer and not show as much discomfort. – Stephan Branczyk Oct 23 '17 at 19:15

Also a dancer knows that depending on the dance style, it could be inherently provocative. Dances tell a story. When dance is done right, you should feel the emotions of that story. They also know that their outfits could lead to wandering eyes as it would with anyone who wore such clothing (male dancers included, females always go crazy when a male takes a shirt off during his routine).

Dance is interpretive. Therefore, everyone's experience will be subjective to their own feelings and how they interpret that dance. Just sit back and enjoy the show. As Dan said, see how others are acting around you. If one comes up to the edge and looks at you smile back! That let's them know you are enjoying their efforts.

If you look at their legs or hips, they may not assume right away you are a sexual creeper. Lots of dances involve movement of the hips, movement of the legs. If something moves, my eyes automatically go to it instinctively as I would assume most people's would. Belly dancing is mostly all in the hips. Sure some may not have pure desires when watching, but that is where the action is and that's where the eyes will be drawn to regardless.

So as I said, just enjoy the show and their hard efforts they give to the crowd and don't forget to show your appreciation for their work by smiling should they make eye contact with you :)


next time you are watching a dance performance look at the people around you and watch how they are behaving. If you behave the same way they do it will be extremely unlikely that you will embarrass any one including the dancer(s).

If a person is dancing on stage at a performance it is safe to assume that he or she wants other people to watch her/him dance.

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