I'm a senior student in Canadian high school. I recently started dating a junior at my school. We seem to be really good together, and we make each other happy.
However, the situation is complicated because my best friend, another junior, had a long-time crush on her. He acted on his feelings about 8 months ago, and she rejected him, which made me very careful in our pre-relationship stage.
I spoke to my friend about how my relationship with his former crush was evolving into something bigger, and he assured me that he doesn't mind, doesn't like her anymore, and is not really in the position to say anything. Taking him at his word, I saw no reason not to move forward with our relationship when she confessed that she has feelings for me.
However, now my friend is saying that his previous statements were made only out of politeness. That he doesn't want to ruin our new-found relationship, but he actually hasn't gotten over her, which puts me in a really bad situation.
I should have read my friend's feelings more carefully, and looking back there were signs when she and I first started talking. However, I don't want to break up with her. I'm really enjoying getting to know her better, and I'm not sure that breaking up will help the situation anyway. My friend will probably be trapped by the guilt and sadness, which will negatively affect our friendship.
Both of them are important to me, and choosing one over another will not make any of us happy. Furthermore, my girlfriend wants to maintain a friendship with my friend and is not trying to push us apart.
However, our friendship has gotten a little shaky. He is acting out in front of everyone, saying stuff like "she rejected me and left me". Even if it was meant as a joke, this is making both my girlfriend and I very uncomfortable.
I know his actions are mostly due to his emotional turmoil. I think my friend is not stable at the moment, is honestly scaring me, and I don't know what his next action will be. I'd like to get more insight into what he feels and what he wants. I want to talk to him about this, so we can plan our future course of action.
How do I talk to my friend about this situation?
Update: We are no longer friends and do not interact. But my girlfriend and I are maintaining a loving, caring, and healthy relationship. Guess I can't get them both.