21

Many times we try to blend in with some friend's friends. However, being accepted into that group of friends is not so simple, for a few reasons.

While hanging around that group does allow someone to familiarize with the group and also creates introductions, it does not mean that one is fully integrated into the group. It is not the same as being an active member of the group. Personally, I noticed that I don't get invited to their meetups, unless I specifically ask to join, which isn't the case for most of the members of the group.

This specific group of friends is not a diverse one. There is a very leveled plain in terms of background.

What can I do to make the rest of the group of friends more at ease with me, and possibly accept me into their group?

More specifically, what should I do so that they would invite me to meet-ups?


This is adapted from an example question, and it is also something I am personally trying to learn.

15

The best way to get people to want you around is to add value to the group. Have your own interests, hobbies, friends, etc but make it a point to listen to the people in this new group, find out what they want/need/value and then go about providing that. It may be that one group member is working as a teapot maker - after that conversation keep a look out for any teapot related things in the news or teapot related local events. Next time you find one send that person an email or text letting them know about the teapot thing you found and strike up a conversation. In short, be genuinely interested in these new people.

People love talking about themselves, they love feeling important. If you can incite that feeling, people will want to be around you. You might consider reading Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

6

A solid group of friends is sometimes the result of a shared difficult experience. It can be a way to become accepted if such circumstances happen.

Don't try too hard to not be seen as annoying, but if you see the group or a member of it in a very difficult situation, do your best to help them. Obviously, don't take their side if they are doing something really stupid though, you don't want stupid friends anyway.

  • Help them understand math to avoid them repeating a year,
  • Manage to find food when everyone is stranded,
  • Listen to their love lamentations and invite them to your party where their crush is coming,
  • etc
5

This is just one of those things that takes time. For some people, it can take a while for someone to get used to someone new.

Often, they'll want to know you better before they bring you closer in. They'll want to discover who you are a little bit - what your interests are, whether they like your personality... etc. Respect who they are, and get to know them as well, and show that you have an interest in being friends with them.


Generally speaking, this is much more pronounced when there are significant cultural barriers, such as through language. If you can show an effort that you would respect their culture, then they might think much more of you and bring you closer.

0

You can walk with them and wherever you go for entertainment, I mean for a movie, or for a tourist spot or outing or shopping, you can call one or two of the group. When someone calls you, just go with them (avoid family trips).

In order to make a good relationship in the friends group, they should think that you are always with them.

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