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I have a male nurse who comes to my house every so often to give me medication and observe me all day for any reactions. When he is here, he leaves pee puddles on the floor in front of the toilet (this is obviously urine - it is yellow). Due to my medical condition, it isn't easy for me to clean it up.

I would like to talk to him about this and let him know that I'd like for him to clean up after himself. However, I'm unsure how to tactfully ask him to do this and would like advice on what to say to him.

I do really like my nurse other than this problem of his. Requesting a different nurse is not really an option I want to consider. Having a nurse come into your home and stay with you the entire day is pretty awkward and I have been most comfortable with him, so far. He is also very skilled (the best nurse I've had) when it comes to administering my very complicated medication and I'd hate to lose him.

Edit: So, what I ended up saying was:

Oh, [person]? Sometimes when you pee, there's a little bit left on the floor in front of the toilet. Could you wipe it up next time?

I should have told him it was hard for me to clean up, but I neglected to add that part because I was so nervous. He did not really seem surprised by my request, but was apologetic and said he would wipe it up in the future.

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4 Answers 4

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Sometimes there's no way to be tactful about something. I think this is such a case. You'd like the male nurse to be more mindful of the state they leave the bathroom in after they've used it. You're only going to achieve this goal if the male nurse becomes aware of their behaviour. Subtle hints may allow you to avoid a confrontation here, but in the end it will only make you feel worse when your subtle hints are not being understood.

In your case, I would say something along these lines, in a warm and friendly tone:

Excuse me [person], I wanted to make you aware of something. Several times now I've noticed that the floor was wet after you'd used the bathroom. I've been cleaning it up myself up until now but because of [medical condition] it's a little difficult for me to do so. Would you mind keeping a closer eye on it in the future?

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I don't know for sure if this wouldn't come off as weird or frivolous in other countries, but at least in Germany it is perfectly acceptable to put up a little sign in the bathroom that asks people to sit down on the toilet. There are indeed even metal plate signs and various more or less humorous postcards for those who are so inclined.

Two example signs

In short, put up a sign if you want to avoid confronting anyone directly. This also has the added benefit of subtly asking other guests to "take a seat".

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I think Cronax is right that this may be a situation in which you have to be direct, but as this may be a problem that occurs when others are over as well, and you do have a medical issue that exacerbates the problem, you may consider putting a sign over the toilet reminding guests to tidy up after themselves:

Please ensure the area around the toilet is clean.

While this may be awkward under normal circumstances, I think your medical condition justifies going the extra mile. If you are comfortable doing so, you may even reference this on the sign:

It is difficult for me to clean the bathroom, so I appreciate the consideration!

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    To my mind this is the best first course of action. It avoids accusing anyone specific and the nurse is less likely to take offense/get defensive about it. If the sign doesn't do the job then a direct conversation may be in order, but I don't think the conversation should be the first course of action.
    – Trebor
    Nov 28, 2017 at 10:01
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You:

"Hey can you stop peeing on my bathroom floor?"

Him:

"Okay, sorry."

You:

"Thanks"

I honestly don't think you need to beat around the bush in such a situation, just say it how it is. Be direct, to the point but not rude. They will take you seriously and there won't be any misunderstanding. Sometimes you just have to say it how it is

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    Yes, that would be most direct, but I feel I can only be that blunt with family and close friends. Thank you, though!
    – Winder
    Nov 8, 2017 at 23:08
  • @Winder Why can't you be blunt with other people? There is a fine line between begin direct and being rude, as long as you can draw that line I think it can be so effective when communicating. Nov 29, 2017 at 16:11
  • I edited my question to include what I actually said to him. It's not as blunt as what you suggested, but I feel it was still very direct.
    – Winder
    Nov 30, 2017 at 17:09
  • @Winder Fair play, however I think by saying this Could you wipe it up next time? won't firmly convey your actual feelings, it almost sounds as if you are okay with him peeing on the floor, as long as he cleans it up when he goes. I personally would suggest putting it in a way that would let him know you don't like him peeing on the floor at all. Nov 30, 2017 at 17:17

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