I'm the best man at my best friend's Floridian destination wedding. We've been friends since middle school, and in general, we can confide in each other just about anything.

Over the course of the week (many of us came down early to make it a vacation), we've spent lots of time as a group, doing the whole Florida gamut - Disney, beaches, nightlife, etc.

However, during all of this, it's come to my attention that my friend's fiance isn't faithful to him. I've seen her flirting with other men when my friend wasnt around; at first I thought this was just friendly chit-chat, but one night, she attempted to get in bed with me, while my friend was still out.

This was done in no uncertain terms; she literally stated that she "wanted to see how I performed in bed." In addition, I didn't smell any alcohol or anything, so I believe this was just her being her.

Of course, I refused. When I did, she became irritated, and stormed out. Since then, she's been practically glued to his side anytime I get close to him, and I haven't had the chance to pull him aside and confide in what happened.

This is my best friend, and I truly wish him happiness - but I feel that he needs to know his fiance's unfaithful behavior. It seems that he doesn't know right now.

Unforutnately, it seems more and more likely that the only opportunity I'll have is at the wedding itself. When the priest asks "if anyone knows any reason why these two should not be married" (or whatever it is), should I object?

  • 1
    This is primarily opinion-based and therefore off-topic on IPS.SE. Nov 17 '17 at 17:58
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    You can ask how to approach him about it, but we can't tell you what to do here. Surely you have some other way of contacting him besides in person though, right? Can't you ask to meet him privately?
    – Em C
    Nov 17 '17 at 17:59
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    I'd be interested in answering some of the IPS skills that this question would raise. But the question as it stands is not a good "how do I" question. Nov 17 '17 at 18:20
  • @Paparazzi Please do not answer questions in comments, PARTICULARLY if they were closed as a poor fit for this site. Nov 18 '17 at 5:08
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    FWIW, weddings rarely have the "if someone should know of a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now, blah, blah.." part of the wedding anymore. Outing the unfaithful fiancé publically would hurt more people than necessary. Tell him before the wedding, privately. Nov 21 '17 at 23:08

Should you tell your best friend

Probably, especially if it's going to weigh on your conscience. That being said, be prepared for him to not accept what you're telling him. Give him the information you have, and support however he chooses to act from that point on.

Should you object at their wedding

Think of how this will impact him. This could be very harmful for him to discover while in front of all of his family and friends. If you want to tell him, do whatever you possibly can to find a moment alone with him. If you absolutely can't, minimize the amount of people that have to be present.

Even if you have to bring it up in front of her and him together, it's better than bringing it up in front of her + wedding party + wedding guests.


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