I am a male in my mid-twenties. A female friend of mine sent me a text saying that one of her friends (female) came across my profile and thought that I'm "really cute". I joked around with my friend for a bit and then she sent me a link to her friend's FB profile, suggesting that I add her and get to know her because she wanted to get to know me. For context, she's also in her mid-twenties but in college (I've finished school and work at least full-time).
I added her and by the end of the night, and after a little flirting, we exchanged phone numbers.
It's been about a week since then and it has been nonstop "texting tag" (think phone tag but with texting). The thing is, I understand being busy and not breaking up the time to text someone back. Especially in early stages of getting to know someone, you dont want to seem clingy and strangers aren't a priority. In general, I don't text friends during work hours, while at the gym, doing errands, etc. But when I settle in after work or the gym, with Netflix or some other menial task going, I'll proactively engage in texting buddies back and having texting conversations.
Every time I text her, I won't get a text for a few hours. Examples:
- Text her (9:00PM) : Response (11:30PM) (2.5 hrs)
- Text her (7:00AM) : Response (10:45AM) (3.75 hrs)
- Text her (11AM): Response (7:00PM) (8 hrs)
- Text her (7:05PM): Response (11PM) (4 hrs)
It's like at least 2 hours need to pass before I'll get a response, regardless of the time of day I text her. I'd have asked her out for a simple coffee or lunch but she lives a few hours away.
So I proposed that we have a chat on the phone, if she'd be up for it. She sent smily faces and we both agreed on Thursday night. Thursday night rolls around and she apologizes to say that she's out with friends and then asked when I'd be asleep. I replied that "It's no big deal. I go to bed around 11PM", and that she can call whenever. 10:30PM rolls around and she texts me to say that she's tired and going to sleep. She then asks when would be a better day for her to call. I told her no worries and said she could just call whenever is convenient for her.
She hasn't offered up an alternative time to call or called me back, it's been a few days (including the weekend, a great time to call someone!). My experience and intuition tells me that she's either:
- Playing games.
- Trying to seem non-clingy by having dramatically long average response times of essentially half a day.
- Not interested.
I'm not insulted, and as a proactive individual I understand that people get busy, but it's been my experience that when people are sincerely interested in someone, they'll actively keep communication and make a slight effort to reach out. I know that I always make sure, regardless of my busy schedule, to make a woman know that I'm interested and that she's got my attention. I'm not saying texting back every hour on the hour, but at some point in the day, like before bed, holding a conversation over texts for at least 15-20 minutes. She's definitely flirting with me, lots of good signs in her texts, but in past similar situations, I've been patient with girls like this for weeks just to find myself in the friend zone situation and things fizzling out.
Are my expectations too high? Am I reading things wrong? Should I make a joke about the reply times in order to see what's up with her? Should I keep engaging in texting her and hoping she'll take the time to call me?