How to handle leadership saying, "we have been over this"

Question

I am a contractor (software development) that is currently in contract with a small business--about 6 employees. There is one project manager and one owner of the business. Both of those people seem to like the phrase, "we have been over this", or, "please refer to the original documentation" when I ask a question.

Unfortunately these two people do not see that there could be other interpretations to their examples/documentation, or that after "going over it" I just saw a new interpretation while attempting to solve the issue, and I just want clarification because I am not in their head and do not understand their interpretation.

These are both people who cannot step into someone else's shoes. I already tried to talk to the PM about some of the ways she communicates in a certain situation, and in response received "This shouldn't have been an issue in the first place", essentially placing the blame squarely on my shoulders again.

Those degrading phrases are starting to wear on me. Is there any way to broach this subject gracefully?

Answer 1

When someone refuse an attempt to clarify ambiguity, proceed with one interpretation as if it's the only interpretation. Send an email:

I understand that this means X. So I will proceed with doing X, until you tell me otherwise.

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I understand that this might means X or Y (or Z). I will proceed with doing X, until you tell me otherwise._{from Anketam's comment}

If this interpretation is wrong, they will need to correct you. If they do not correct you, then they should not (they can, unfortunately) reprimand you, because you've informed them how you will proceed.

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As Doctor Strange's mentioned, the most important part is having a written conversation, just in case the management forgets that they had any discussion regarding the concerned topic.

Answer 2

Show how your question is different from what you've already gone over.

It must be different, or you wouldn't be asking again, right? So something like:

I know you said it must be red and green, but then your documentation says it must be friendly for colorblind people. These two things are at odds, so which do you want me to do?

Or maybe:

The documentation says the page must load "very fast", but I'm not sure specifically what that means. Is one second very fast? One tenth of a second?

If you go to them and simply ask what colors should you make the page or how quickly it should load, then they're not going to understand why you're asking about it again. If you explicitly acknowledge the information you've already been given and why it's insufficient, then there's no way they can retort with "go read the documentation." If you say "I'm not sure what colors to use", then of course they'll say "I already told you this. Why are you asking me again?"

Another thing that can help is to put more effort into seeing these problems ahead of time, so you don't have to repeatedly go back to them for clarification. If you ask them a question about the color scheme ten different times, then it's completely understandable they'd get frustrated, even if they're all legitimate. Think through the request thoroughly enough the first time that you don't need to keep going back to them to clarify things.

Let me give you a real example from today that's not software related. My boss left a couple papers on my desk that I needed, but I was working elsewhere. I texted someone in that office to grab them for me because I was going to see them later. They were the only two papers on or in my desk, and my desk is very clean in general. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: Hi, will you grab the papers on my desk and bring them to me later?

Them: Yes.

[A couple minutes pass]

Them: Where are they?

Me: On my desk. (Thinking: didn't my last text say that?)

[A couple more minutes pass]

Them: Is it the X papers?

Me: Yes. (Thinking: those are literally the only papers I could possibly mean. Right?) Are there any other papers on my desk?

Them: No, just those two.

At this point, I'm wondering if they drank too much the night before or hit their head or something. From my perspective, they kept asking for clarification when I had clearly given them enough information to do the job. They never justified their confusion. I said "grab papers on my desk". All they had to was look at my desk and grab the only visible papers.

Now imagine if they had sent the following along with their initial response: "I don't want the people sitting next to you thinking I'm stealing things from your desk. Can you tell me exactly where the papers are and what they look like so I can grab them confidently and not seem suspicious?" Then I would have understood why they were asking and could've promptly resolved it. As it was, I'm sure we both ended up annoyed.

In conclusion, make your question specific, explicitly give a reason for your confusion and why you can't solve it on your own, and do your very best to ask all your questions when the problem first arises.

Answer 3

I've found the following phrase to work well for this attitude.

I understand that, but without clarification, I cannot proceed, so what do you suggest I do?

That puts the ball right in their court. You are essentially saying that if they don't help you, the project is stalled.

Pretty standard IT runaround. Just pushback a bit like that example.

Answer 4

I've developed software for a small company before. As programmers know too well, there is no language that frees you from the burden of clarifying your ideas. My employer would avoid details because he wanted me to take responsibility for the decision in question. It can mean a few things:

1. He wanted me to shift the responsibility of clarifying his ideas on to me, along with the blame if I did it the wrong way. This can be because he doesn't understand the importance of the detail, because one changed detail can take far more work than those unfamiliar with programming would expect. It can also be laziness on his part, he wants to avoid the mental labor of understanding a choice he's paying for.
2. He wanted me to just do my job, if he were capable of breaking his problems down into unambiguous instructions he could save himself some serious money and just do it himself.

These two are not mutually exclusive and navigating them was, by far, the most difficult part of my job. My advice is this. Situation: you asked once, they gave you the "read the docs" line. This means they do not or do not want to understand the problem. Your turn again:

If it is easily changed later: make an executive decision based on your intuition and past dealings with them. Cite all the relevant parts of the docs, say "I interpret this to mean" and describe as simply as possible the consequences of your choice, email it. Don't wait for a reply, just proceed. If they complain later, no big deal to change it.

Else: Start by explaining that this decision must never change, we have to choose one and stick with it. Outline two or three (clearly numbered and separate) choices with an emphasis on their potential problems/limitations with each approach. Put those parts in bold font. Recommend one, reiterating the problems/limitations. Reference the documentation wherever applicable. Do not proceed until they respond having unambiguously chosen a path.

Referencing the documentation shows you did the leg work. Including them on the choice shares the responsibility. Making a choice/recommendation shows you did your job. Do it by email so there is a record. If it's easily changed, don't throw it in their face when they change their minds. If it's not, don't hesitate to use the emails to protect yourself.